Joke Quotes · Page 35

When you tell an Iowan a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression.

— Bill Bryson

I've never pitched a joke that I wouldn't be comfortable seeing in a Pixar film.

— Alex Hirsch

“What in the world is this abomination?” Lissa, only slightly more tactful, asked, “Adrian, is this some kind of joke?”

— Richelle Mead

“I blinked at that, confused. I’m not supposed to be the guy who doesn’t get the reference joke, dammit.”

— Jim Butcher

“Let us live while we can, speak while we may, and at present pursue our journey; for, this joke has already lasted…

— Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

“It was a joke to the extent in the context of the views that speech.”

— Herman Cain

My family joke that I'm really a very senior person who accidentally happens to be 11.

— Adora Svitak

I always joke with people that having nephews is the best birth control there is.

— Tahj Mowry

There's no real formula for doing it, it's either just living life and writing down a joke you think of in the…

— Jeff Dunham

I joke with people - and Kyle Shanahan used to say this - that my swagger is having no swagger, but that…

— Kirk Cousins

I have Bob Dylan lyrics on my ribs. I'm a diehard Dylan fan, and my dad and I joke that if I…

— Carly Chaikin

Any joke can be funny, but not any joke is funny. Any joke has the potential to be hilarious to you, but…

— Phoebe Robinson

I think it's natural if you're doing a lot of comedy to do a lot of drama, because you have to figure…

— Judy Greer

Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving,…

— Jackson Browne

I have a great pic of my father and Rev. Graham laughing hysterically at some joke with George Pratt Shultz looking on…

— Ben Stein

I never do a whole new set of new material. I do one new joke at a time, and I wedge it…

— Jim Jefferies

There's an old joke that politics is Hollywood for ugly people. An awful lot of the press coverage about Washington reads like…

— Ted Cruz

Difficulty empathising translates into a whole set of hurdles. You might be last person to get the point of a joke, which…

— Simon Baron-Cohen

“Meanwhile, Milo had been in the Senate on that day until it was dismissed and then came home. He changed out of…

— Cicero

I think a lot of my songs are very silly and very stupid, written to entertain people, but in the end, I…

— Jens Lekman

Here's the thing, with comedy - and I learned this from Will Ferrell - you can't be ashamed. If you're doing comedy,…

— John C. Reilly

Best Love song by a software engineer very funny must read - kal jab mile the… To dil mein hua ek sound.…

— AB

“I will kill you. I don’t want to, but I will,” he said, cocking the hammer. “Do you really want to kill…

— Andrew Kaplan

When I'm concentrating, I can be fixed in place for hours. In fact, there was a joke in my office that everybody…

— Sonia Sotomayor

I'm aware that I should end a joke with the good part, I choose not too.

— Daniel Tosh

I don't really believe in lucky things, but I wear lucky underwear as a joke.

— Julia Mancuso

There's always that one person that got a bad grade and is playing it off as a joke, but everyone knows they're…

— Anonymous

You've no idea how good an old joke sounds when you take it out again after a rest of five or six…

— Anonymous

You're not going to see my sense of humor on the football field. That's not a place for me to joke around.

— Tom Brady

The really funny moments you notice throughout your life are very seldom generated by one person telling a joke.

— Ronnie Corbett

I know there is someone out there for everyone. I just can't understand why the one for me is hiding

— Anonymous

Never take someone's feelings as a joke. You will never know how much it fucking hurts.

— DP Antiqus

Somebody from Pitchfork Festival wanted me to have a Microphones reunion. It's a joke. It's just me.

— Phil Elverum

I'm grateful for every stupid mistake and dumb joke I tried to make.

— Bo Burnham

The world is a very serious and, at times, very sad place - but at other times it is all such a…

— George Harrison

Let's hit the joke once and move on to the next joke and just keep it where we have as many jokes…

— Eric Andre

A lot of times, comedy writers will go for the gay joke, and I've been vocal about saying, 'Go for the smart…

— Michael Arden

“Death is number one on the list of things that we wish were possible to leave behind when we escaped barbarism.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Never laughing too loudly in a restaurant no matter how good the joke.

— Paulo Coelho