Joke Quotes · Page 34

After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.

— Dave Chappelle

I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.

— Groucho Marx

Well, everybody used to joke that I saved the first dollar that I ever made in Van Halen. I probably did somewhere.

— Michael Anthony

When something makes no sense, sometimes you make something of it. A joke. A spiritual practice. A life.

— Heather Sellers

Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke.

— Robin Williams

Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching.

— Baltasar Gracian

I make cameos in all my movies for no particular reason other than a joke. It's just a Hitchcock thing.

— Peter Jackson

We didn't choose the joke because it's filthy! We chose it because of the structure!

— Paul Provenza

I love doing great entertainment, but I like the joke to be on me. I don't want to take advantage of some…

— Terry Crews

“People will say,"there's heaven and hell", and they take it so serious that they look so sorrowful with penitence. I would rather…

— Michael Bassey Johnson

Oh.! you say you love me. So, to how many other girls have you fooled with that beautiful phrase that many over…

— Anonymous

Leo: "So...giants who can throw mountains. Friendly wolves that will eat us if we show weakness. Evil espresso drinks. Gotcha. Maybe this…

— Rick Riordan

I'm at an age where crying is easier for me now. I like it. I can cry at a poignant commercial; I…

— Ray Romano

Somebody will occasionally give me a line or a tag or something like that. It's rare that someone will give me a…

— Josh Blue

Music was going to be my thing. Was I going to make a living at it? That was kind of a joke.…

— Duff McKagan

My life is a joke… I'm only here for your amusement… You'll never see the pain I feel or the tears I…

— Storm Shadowheart

“There’s a neon green post-it note stuck to the window ledge. It says DON’T EVEN TRY —R, in bold capital letters. Yeah,…

— Rebecca Espinoza

I detest jokes - when somebody tells me one, I feel my IQ dropping; the brain cells start to disappear. But something…

— Johnny Depp

We all have, in my family, what we call the 'Vorderman bottom' - a sticky out, bigger-than-normal, signature, of the rear variety.…

— Carol Vorderman

We always joke about how I'm on the road and they'll be like, 'Man, you need to take a shower.' Nah, it…

— Paul Wall

“Don’t give up on your dreams, goals, plans or Ideas because people are laughing at them. People who are narrow minded laugh…

— De philosopher DJ Kyos

My role is almost a sight-gag. I have to be a woman to sing the lyrics "I am a man" to have…

— Max von Essen

It's funny: when I started playing bass in 1984, you had guys like Paul Simonon fron the Clash, John Paul Jones, Lemmy,…

— Duff McKagan

There's not one thing that inspires me the most. Me and my friends joke around with each other and hang out so…

— Adam DeVine

The girl-next-door image is a sort of joke; for years, I couldn't get any roles other than as somebody dark.

— Felicity Kendal

What other culture could have produced someone like Hemmingway and not seen the joke?

— Gore Vidal

“If you try a joke a second time and nobody laughs, don’t tell a different joke—tell different people.”

— Jarod Kintz

I used to crack A joke when Sourav Ganguly is upset and make him happy , i usually speak in bengali which…

— Sachin Tendulkar

Art should be serious, not a joke. I don't like to laugh about art.

— Gerhard Richter

I can't stand not being able to joke around on set, so I have to.

— Johnny Depp

People fall in love like It's a joke. There's something wrong with you.

— Alec

“In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke.”

— Hermann Hesse

My first joke was about a company called Five Star Parking that was all over Philadelphia: 'Who's reviewing parking lots?'

— Adam McKay

“It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water.”

— Douglas Adams

“Hey, do you mind not squeezing my head off. I remember how powerful those thighs are.”

— Anonymous

I often joke that I've been fired from almost every job I've ever had.

— Tite

Humor is a huge part of the way I operate; if people can't understand a joke then they should not follow me.

— Shibani Dandekar

Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.

— Joe Bob Briggs

That's the joke about confinement pigs: they taste like whatever sauce you cook them with.

— Joel Salatin

I'll say things that are serious and put them in a joke form so people can enjoy them. We laugh to keep…

— Kanye West