Joke Quotes · Page 37

I'll go through many things for you. Let's start with your bank account.

— Anonymous

Slavery is nothing to joke about. The history of this nation's involvement with slavery is nothing to pass off in a joke.

— Douglas Wilder

Yeah I may..laugh a lot, joke around a lot.. but, inside of me, its breaking… yet, nobody can tell..

— Ritu Ghatourey

“Welcome to Level 2. Or, as it is sometimes affectionately referred to by the Friends: God's Little Joke.”

— H.M. Forester

The most profound indication of social malignancy ... no sense of humor. None of the monoliths could take a joke.

— Edward Albee

If life is merely a joke, the question still remains: for whose amusement? No one knows what he can do till he…

— Publilius Syrus

“What’s that old joke? “A friend helps you move; a real friend helps you move a body.”

— Kelley Armstrong

Somebody would think I was trying to get favored treatment because my ancestors had the name Moon. And that's a joke.

— Buzz Aldrin

For me, it's about having energy in the field and making sure I'm having fun and making sure everyone else around is…

— Steve Smith

There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made…

— Brad Williams

Writing books is fun because after I do a show for a couple hours, I'm in a bus for 22 hours. It's…

— Willie Nelson

Comedy is similar to hockey... in only one way. You get a lot of credit for assists. So I try to serve…

— Johnny Galecki

A boring speech can be just a boring speech. But a speech with a joke that falls flat is awful. I hate…

— Jon Lovett

The worst thing ever that you have to explain your joke because I was very disappointed trying to explain why the joke…

— Bassem Youssef

I have an uncle I no longer talk to because of a joke I made about my grandmother, who is his mother.…

— Jim Jefferies

The most surprising thing - and the thing I really didn't think I would have an opportunity to do when I was…

— Danielle Macdonald

Occasionally you get that one person that says "I really like that one part of this joke" and you go, "Oh thank…

— John Mulaney

My brother was listening to his transistor radio. He kept switching the earpiece from one ear to the other, which I thought…

— Jane Lynch

It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to…

— Steven Wright

You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore;…

— Ron White

Shaquille and I kind of joke we were the Christopher Columbus of social media. We're kind of out on a boat by…

— Amy Jo Martin

Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality…

— George Carlin

When a joke works, it works. It can make a point in a really simple way; it can be a great little…

— Jon Lovett

“Got something!" one of the men yelled. "Is it Mike?" another called, rushing from our sides. As everyone converged on the scene,…

— Kelley Armstrong

I don't care if I offend any gays. If you can take a dick, you can take a joke.

— Nikhil Saluja

Anything where we're the butt of the joke, no one tells us about it.

— Chris Martin

I would tell you a joke about Chris Brown and Rihanna but you'd never get the punch line .-.

— Lyndon Renison Swasey Jr

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

— Anonymous

“C: What do you get when a giant sneezes? Out of the way. - Marigold”

— Jean Ferris

I joke that DIY is my therapy, but it really is, it's my way of relaxing.

— Andi Dorfman

“You must learn to take a joke, Francie, otherwise life will be pretty hard on you.”

— Betty Smith

Crusaders have just f-ked me over what a bas-rd joke, excuse my language I'm absolutely furious.

— Keith Senior

I am a fan of whatever makes me laugh my ass off. If it happens to be a Jew joke, then it's…

— Alex Borstein

“When will someone write from the point of view of a joke, that is to say the way God sees events from…

— Flaubert Gustave

“If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime.”

— Jon Stewart

“Besides, if you're sick, I'm on life support. As wrong as that joke is.”

— Lia Habel

I tried taking everything in Life with a grain of salt, but after using up two bags of salt, I gave up.

— Hussein Nishah

Have you considered the option of getting the joke? If not, try it now and redeem your soul.

— Erik Naggum

You learn what can become a good joke and can be repeatable. You have a shorthand about how to introduce a joke…

— Lennon Parham

“Caleb fed me better food during my kidnapping than these people. I laugh at my own joke”

— C.J. Roberts