One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before. — Doug Larson Copy Share Image
Joke: why do people always go high to school? Answer: because its called — Vicvickyvic Copy Share Image
It was a joke, okay? If we thought it would actually be used, we wouldn't have written it! — Marc Andreessen Copy Share Image
“It's easy to joke when you don't care any more. I'm not saying it didn't hurt me, because it did.” — Nicholas Sparks Copy Share Image
This is why Jessica Biel is a successful actress: because, despite the punchlines, you know how to tell a joke. — Raphael Bob-Waksberg Copy Share Image
If I should ever die, God forbid, I hope you will say, 'Kurt is up in heaven now.' That's my favorite joke. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
A joke without a point, inane and bald, itself a joke on joking may be called — Menander Of Athens Copy Share Image
John Locke invented common sense, and only Englishmen have had it ever since! — Bertrand Russell Copy Share Image
Whenever you're talking about using humor in politics or in a policy speech or in a serious moment, you're talking about using… — Jon Lovett Copy Share Image
“Ronan," Noah said, "I have a super bad feeling." "It's called being dead," Ronan replied. "That's the sort of joke that's only… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
That was really so upsetting when you are trying to pass on some very serious knowledge and be basically, treated worse than… — Miroslav Vitous Copy Share Image
“It's a joke in the zoo business, a weary joke, that the paperwork involved in trading a shrew weighs more than an… — Yann Martel Copy Share Image
“Why is war so much like a practical joke? she thinks. Hiding behind bushes, leaping out, with not much difference between Boo!… — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
Growing up, there weren't many people on TV who looked like me - apart from the odd shopkeeper and the odd dodgy,… — Asim Chaudhry Copy Share Image
When I got on tour in 2014, I was hitting a slice off the tee. No joke. Yeah, I had plenty of… — Tony Finau Copy Share Image
That Awkward Moment When A Nigga Gets Caught Masturbating By His BabyMama. He Doesn't Know What To Hide First, His Dick Or… — Oupa Copy Share Image
You really need to think what you say before you say it, because everyone's so sensitive now to everything. I'm just kind… — Calum Hood Copy Share Image
What 'SNL' taught me that was useful on 'The Watch' was, only put in bad words if they can get a laugh… — Akiva Schaffer Copy Share Image
There's that great Irish joke: a man is lost in the countryside, stops a passer-by: 'how do I get to Dublin?'. The… — Tim Crane Copy Share Image
“Look, I get it. You can’t tell a joke without worrying you’ll lose your job. Your twenty-something can’t find work. Your town… — Katy Tur Copy Share Image
I want to write the reparations joke that makes people go, 'Yay! I'm so happy!' It's easy to go onstage and just… — W. Kamau Bell Copy Share Image
One Valentine's my date texted me in the evening saying: 'Oh there's a buy-one-get-one-free deal at Domino's tonight,' and I genuinely thought… — Maura Higgins Copy Share Image
“Unless you truly believed in something to the deepest depth of your being, as did Delamater, all men were whores in the… — Douglas E. Richards Copy Share Image
White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I suppose every time [something bad happens], I have that instinct to make that joke that distracts. — Phoebe Waller-Bridge Copy Share Image
Never take someone's feelings as a joke, you never know how bad it feels. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some guys joke, 'Oh, you have a bedtime.' But I've got to be able to function the next day at the top… — Tobias Harris Copy Share Image
When I make a mistake I'm not the type who gets angry if someone says something, I like to joke about it. — Matthijs de Ligt Copy Share Image
Let's be completely honest: the Trump campaign's social media was a joke. — Mike Cernovich Copy Share Image
Plenty of people joke that the mascots are bigger than me. It doesn't bother me at all. — Rob Burrow Copy Share Image
I always thought my genitals were the result of some crude practical joke. — Steven Morrissey Copy Share Image
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
See, justice is a joke in this country, and it stinks of its hypocricy. — H. Rap Brown Copy Share Image
“riddle is a challenge that is meant to be solved with reasoning whereas a joke is a setup for an amusing pun… — Sef Daystrom Copy Share Image
[Writing a joke] there is no team of writers. It's just you in an office, staring at yourself in the mirror. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
At nine, my mom used to tell me she saw an Olympic medalist in me. I used to take it as a… — Saina Nehwal Copy Share Image
I made a good living being a tough guy on TV, but I'd rather laugh and joke all day long than try… — Stone Cold Steve Austin Copy Share Image
What I've said before, only half in joke, is that everybody in Ireland is famous. Or, maybe better, say everybody is familiar. — Seamus Heaney Copy Share Image
I LOVE YOU yes I DO but I wont ever tell you because its just a joke for you. — Nidhi Saini Copy Share Image
![“I suppose every time [something bad happens], I have that instinct to make that joke that distracts.” quote by Phoebe Waller-Bridge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4dc/phoebe-waller-bridge-8068_happens_i-suppose-every-time-something-bad-happe_858100.jpg)
![“[Writing a joke] there is no team of writers. It's just you in an office, staring at yourself in the mirror.” quote by Jimmy Fallon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/85e/jimmy-fallon-656_joke_writing-a-joke-there-is-no-team-of-write_3042112.jpg)
