I have always claimed Americans didn't want a drink as bad as they wanted the right to take a drink if they… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If this depression stays with us, the loser Tuesday is going to be the winner. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The way to make money in the stock market is to buy a stock. Then, when it goes up, sell it. If… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If you eliminate the names of Lincoln, Washington, Roosevelt, Jackson and Wilson, both conventions would get out three days earlier. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Banking and after-dinner speaking are two of the most nonessential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform, if… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Now these fellows in Washington wouldn't be so serious and particular if they only had to vote on what they thought was… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Well, another senator rose and said {as they always do} 'Does the gentleman yield?' They always say that - least they call… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberate Lie, why it… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I am a great believer in high-priced people. If a thing cost a lot it may not be any better, but it… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We cuss Congress, and we joke about 'em, but they are all good fellows at heart, and if they wasn't in Congress,… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
This would be a great world to dance in if we didn’t have to pay the fiddler. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If you got a dollar, soak it away, put it in a savings bank, bury it, do anything but spend it. Spending… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The whole trouble with the Republicans is their fear of an increase in income tax, especially on higher incomes. They speak of… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Every land or property owner in America would be tickled to death to pay 45 per cent of his profits, if he… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Opportunity rarely knocks on your door.… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
A Democrat is just like a baby. If it's hollering and making a lot of noise, there is nothing serious the matter… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. I'm not a member of any organized political party,… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
You know, a Communist's whole life work is based on complaint of how everything is done.... So if they ever get their… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
If Wall Street paid a tax on every “game” they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Just read the farm relief bill. It's just a political version of Einstein's last theory. If a farmer could understand it, he… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Here's another way of putting it. Roosevelt wants recovery to start at the bottom. In other words, by a system of high… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We owe more money than any Nation in the World, and we are LOWERING TAXES. When is the time to pay off… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR Course. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The Democrats and the Republicans are equally corrupt where money is concerned. It's only in the amount where the Republicans excel. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
