What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians? — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
I feel that if God had really wanted us to have enough oil, he would never have given us a Department of… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
I'd be surprised if Ronald Reagan doesn't run again. To us it's a second term. To him it's a double feature. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
New Yorkers are so impersonal, if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all! — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Did you ever get to wondering if taxation without representation might have been cheaper? — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right? — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists? — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians? — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
I'd like to say a few words about one of the most popular concepts in the modern education--show and tell. Show and Tell is… — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
