Early in my career as a domme, I both admired and feared becoming one of those career dommes. I saw, in myself,… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
I think trauma gets a reductive treatment. We tend to think only violence or molestation or total abandonment qualify as "childhood trauma,"… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
I couldn't have articulated this process at the time; I just sort of did it instinctually. But now when I talk about… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
I always wished I could go to confession. I was so full of things I couldn't name and had an instinct to… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
Being a dominatrix, sticking my foot up people's asses for money, necessitated that I divorce myself from any sort of objective perspective… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
I saved letters from my boss. There are things in there that are directly transcribed. I was so glad I did that.… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
Letting go of the cozy stories you've been carrying around is devastating. But there's more room for new stuff after you do it. — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
When you conceal inner reality, this pressure builds. You often don't expose yourself until it reaches extremity, a breaking point, and what emerges is… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
I can only see right in front of me when I'm writing, you know? I never think of it as raw or personal or… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
“I have always been afraid to have children. I didn't want to give them the parts of me--the hurtling hunger, the shame--but now I… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
“There are still times when he and I fall into our respective labyrinths. I no longer believe that anyone but ourselves can lead us… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
I think we all are born inside of our parents' narratives. We stay there for a good while. We are taught their narratives about… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
“Maybe that's all bravery is: when your hunger is greater than your fear. I resist the implication that bravery is noble. I must face… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
“I have always enjoyed watching women dress. The appeal isn't sexual. Most girls' first glimpse of private female life is watching their mothers dress… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
“It was the first time anyone had broken up with me. It was a thing I had successfully avoided for thirty-two years.” — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
I can still discern people's weaknesses, but it doesn't make me want to exploit them; it makes me want to hug them. — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
“There is a moment in your 20s when you know what it means to love rightly, but not how to do it, and then… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
“The labyrinth, after all, is Sarah's creation. She calls upon the Goblin King. And this is the biggest difference between my brother's afflictions and… — Melissa Febos Copy Share Image
