“Every other girl in school thinks you're the hottest thing since the microwave.” — Linda Kage Copy Share Image
My lady is so hot, she melted all the cold memories of my previous girlfriend — Londa Ntombela Copy Share Image
We need a war every 10 years, so we can stay match fit in case the Germans try again. — Al Murray Copy Share Image
“Meg's face clouded, and I wondered if she was going to rain the way people do sometimes.” — Ray Rhamey Copy Share Image
“Just because he likes the same bizzaro crap as you doesn't mean he's your soul mate.” — Rachel Hansen Copy Share Image
The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone. — Sid Caesar Copy Share Image
Wear shirt once: Dirty. Wear hoodie every day for three months: Still clean. — Bishwajeet Pattnayak Copy Share Image
A musician cannot move others unless he too is moved. He must of necessity feel all of the affects that he hopes… — Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach Copy Share Image
“The Professor doesn’t have a problem being called Dick? If my name was Richard, I’d go by Richard or Rich . .… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
What about snipers?" I once asked someone. He said, "Oh, most of the snipers have automatic weapon. They arent very accurate. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is some humour in 'Family Values.' I don't want everyone to think it's not going to make them laugh. But there… — Wendy Cope Copy Share Image
“Whether we are trying to buy a packet of chips or getting to know a person for a potentially important relationship, its… — Amrita Sarkar Copy Share Image
I don't think I've ever made any conscious decision to be a comic artist, but to me there's something quite anarchic about… — David Shrigley Copy Share Image
I was worried people would laugh at me when I started to talk the language, but they were just pleasantly surprised that… — Parminder Nagra Copy Share Image
“If my life was a romcom, the guy sitting across from me would be the guy. Not the one I was currently… — Radhika Agrawal Copy Share Image
“Hey, the ubiquitous Leak-Cam is to 2010 as the bottom-of-the-screen news ticker was to late 2001: What you're seeing beneath the news… — Jim Geraghty Copy Share Image
“Costin's contagious, dimpled smile was positively breath taking on his handsome face. She took in his appearance quickly and liked how he… — Quinn Loftis Copy Share Image
“At first I assumed he was a Mexican, but slowly began to realise that a real Mexican probably wouldn't be wearing a… — Danny Wallace Copy Share Image
I do not at all believe in human freedom in the philosophical sense... Schopenhauer’s saying, ‘A man can do what he wants,… — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
“He took her hand in his and knelt before her. Valkyrie looked at him. He was serious. (...)'Dude, I'm sixteen.' 'I love… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
“Evan ran his finger across the faded leather spines. He laughed at how silly some of the names were: Paint Your Roses… — H.B. Bolton Copy Share Image
“He noticed Sandys wide-eyed expression as she took in the flight deck, but there was no time to explain what all the… — Simon Haynes Copy Share Image
“When he’d watched her in the past, he hadn’t understood why she would wear such conservative tops, then such provocative skirts. Yes,… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“You are a deviant from the social norm!" "Is that an insult or a diagnosis?” — Roger Zelazny Copy Share Image
“We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Is it colour?’ ‘Oh yes.’ ‘You don’t let me down.You are my ambassador to pr0n, man.” — Christopher Brookmyre Copy Share Image
Will Hunting: Does this break the patient-doctor code? Sean Maguire: Only if you grab my ass. — Good Will Hunting Copy Share Image
“Nefarious purposes translation: For disgusting demon sex and the birth of the Devil incarnate. Nice.” — Elle Casey Copy Share Image
“Oh, about beer I never lie,’ Crandall said. ‘A man who lies about beer makes enemies.” — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“The last thing he wanted was to see the bright, shining, happy faces of the other angels up there.” — Joel Crofoot Copy Share Image
“I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.” — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
“My sister has mistaken me for a mushroom. She keeps me in the dark and feeds me shit.” — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“I don't need to travel back in time to cause trouble. Seeing back through time finds me trouble enough!” — A.A. Bell Copy Share Image
“Attach yourself to revenue, if you do that, then nobody can touch you.” — Turney Duff Copy Share Image
A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
