“Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?” — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“Yo no quiero alcanzar la inmortalidad por mi obra. Quiero conseguirla por no morir. No quiero vivir en la memoria de mis… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
To me there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
She had been critical of his new torch song, "A Side Order of Heartache, Please," suggesting it could be used as a… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of… — Woody Allen Copy Share
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share
I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public… — Woody Allen Copy Share
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could… — Woody Allen Copy Share
I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't… — Woody Allen Copy Share
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. — Woody Allen Copy Share
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone. — Woody Allen Copy Share
There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important. — Woody Allen Copy Share
