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Inspirational Quotes by Woody Allen

48 Inspirational quotes by Woody Allen

All Inspirational quotes Woody Allen’s page

The best an idea gets is when it lives only in your head, never written down. Allen jokes that death feels like endless hours and even calls anxiety a bluebird that visits early in life. He mixes humor with personal stories, from being caught cheating on a metaphysics exam to dreaming of a rainy kiss in Paris.

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Paranoia is knowing all the facts.

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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

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I'm awash in self-contempt!

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Chastity is curable, if detected early.

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Me and nature are two.

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I don't know enough to be incompetent.

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Showing up is 80 percent of life.

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All i have in my life is my imagination

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My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?

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Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.

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A "Bay Area Bisexual" told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

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The best an idea gets is when its in your head.

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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.

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I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers

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Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.

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If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

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Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your…

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We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our…

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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next…

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Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice…

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Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

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Not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your…

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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to…

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I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that…

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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become.…

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I hope you're getting this down.

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“Me interesa el futuro porque es el sitio donde voy a pasar el resto de mi vida”

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If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.

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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.

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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.

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You use sex to express every emotion except love.

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I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.

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Just because youre paranoid doesnt mean they arent out to get you

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All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates.

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Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.

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Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.

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My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.

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I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.

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I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.

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I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British.

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“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of…

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and…

I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public…

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could…

What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!

I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't…

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.

Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.

All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.

There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.

You can't ride two horses with one behind.

Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.