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Sex Quotes by Woody Allen

38 Sex quotes by Woody Allen

All Sex quotes Woody Allen’s page

Woody Allen jokes that sex is one of the two most important things in life, and he says it can be the biggest source of fun without even laughing. He treats it as a private matter that belongs only to the people involved, and he notes that sex can ease tension while love sometimes does the opposite.

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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.

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After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.

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Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.

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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.

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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

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“The most expensive sex is free sex”

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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

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“Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”

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A "Bay Area Bisexual" told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

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Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

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I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.

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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.

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If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.

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When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will…

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Spencer was searching for a woman interested in gold, inorganic chemistry, outdoor sex and the music of Bach. In short, he was…

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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is…

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Some people think about sex all the time; some people think of sex some of the time; and some people never think…

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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps…

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Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people.…

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You use sex to express every emotion except love.

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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

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Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

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There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.

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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.

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I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.

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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.

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Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love…

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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they…

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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

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The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.

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Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.

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Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

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What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!

I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't…

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.

Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.

All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.

There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.

You can't ride two horses with one behind.

Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.