Humor Quotes · Page 80

“I kind of think that everyone who disagrees with me is wrong.”

— John Green

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

— Steven Wright

Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.

— Jimmy Carr

“I'm very much afraid I didn't mean anything but nonsense.”

— Lewis Carroll

By my rambling digressions I perceive myself to be growing old.

— Benjamin Franklin

Doing a format parody is one of my favorite things to do in comedy.

— Adam Conover

Finding a cure for anorexia should be a piece of cake.

— Charles Elba

Comedy is the last refuge of the non-comformist mind.

— Gilbert Seldes

“Pamela produced placid babies. "They don't tend to turn feral until they're two," she said.”

— Kate Atkinson

“I swear to God, if GreatReads doesn't stop sending me these notification emails...how many times do I have to turn them off?”

— Melanie Marchande

“Humans serve cats as dogs serve humans. And sometimes, I fear, as ineptly.”

— Jon Evans

Jesus!" Luke exclaimed. "Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling.

— Cassandra Clare

Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.

— Samuel Taylor Coleridge

To be in a video is a ridiculous thing. It's almost impossible to do it without any humour

— Richard Ayoade

I think I learned everything about comedy and timing and drama from watching 'The Muppet Show,' which was one of the best…

— Michael Giacchino

Comedy is very difficult. I love it because when you do it right, it's the best feeling in the world.

— Brandon Jay McLaren

When I started out, it was around the whole 9/11 - Islamophobia was just sort of hitting a second wind. Obviously that…

— Riaad Moosa

“I can assure you that your underwear is safe around me. I prefer having the little fruit on the underwear I’m wearing…

— Lindsey Brookes

“But , Mr. Knightley, are you perfectly sure that she has absolutely and downright accepted him? I could suppose she might in…

— Jane Austen

Maggie Smith has a unique sense of comedy, based on a somewhat ironic view of real life, making it both funnier and…

— Julian Fellowes

“ Humor Humor is a great social lubricator—it can make interacting go more smoothly. If you are good at telling jokes, try…

— Jonathan Berent

I think that Chicago is the best place in the world to start comedy. I fell in love with the people there,…

— Megan Stalter

“I wondered what the FML post would look like. "Today, when my father tried to shoot me, I found out he was…

— Jus Accardo

“The hotel is not happy with me breaking a 2000-dollar TV. For a second I feel like a rock star, but that’s…

— Jonas Eriksson

Have a sense of humor to break the tension in times of great toil.

— Colin Powell

The first prerequisite of an advanced being is a sense of humor.

— Richard Bach

Оf course you can only write comedy when you're smoking weed.

— Scott Aukerman

If women were created from ribs then why do they taste like fish?

— Rock Cowles

Shared laughter creates a bond of friendship.

— Lee Grant

“I'd hate to be a balding man named Harry Harrison.”

— Judy Baer

I feel like the luckiest person in comedy.

— Rosie Jones

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny.

— Chris Messina

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

— Bo Burnham

“Love has a way of making the sane insane and the insane normal.”

— Shannon L. Alder

Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.

— Ray Romano

“To love is easy, to be in a relationship is extremely difficult.”

— Santosh Kalwar

I've done comedy on stage, in fact it is one of my strong points.

— Neeraj Kabi

“It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate.”

— Andrea Hurst

No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.

— Robert Green Ingersoll

“No good deed goes unpunished - Oscar Wilde”

— Allen Mack