There are two kinds of humor. One kind that makes us chuckle about our foibles and our shared humanity -- like what… — Molly Ivins Copy Share Image
“Kenzie took two staggering steps backward, staring at the feeline as if in a daze. "O-kay," she breathed, shaking her head slightly.… — julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You go through big chunks of time where you're just thinking, 'this is impossible - oh,this is impossible'. And then you just… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“The lamp tipped over, nailing Kane in the head. Sabin shook his head. The man was a walking disaster Literally. Whenever Kane… — Gena Showalter Copy Share Image
“I am drawn to Tom Sawyer Island because a tribute to Mark Twain would not be out of place in a theme… — Sarah Vowell Copy Share Image
“She wished she had a set of greeting cards at the ready, but Hallmark probably didn’t make any that said Thank you… — Gina Damico Copy Share Image
A lot of people do comedy about India, but they're not from India. It's a Kwik-E-Mart perspective. I want to provide a… — Vir Das Copy Share Image
“Go into the building, search out the Returned who lives in it, and run around in circles squeaking as loudly as you… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“If you call yourself an "authoress" on your Facebook profile, you suck at life. You are stupid and your children are ugly.… — Oliver Markus Copy Share Image
“I like 'fresh fruit flan'," said the donkey. "Three excellent words." "I don't have one," said Noah immediately before the question could… — John Boyne Copy Share Image
I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“If someone like this were to like me, to like my comedy, and to like the way I conduct myself professionally, it… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
“We were still twirling around the tiny parking lot when the neighbors screamed 'Happy New Year'. Unfortunately we weren't sober enough to… — Kaitlin Scott Copy Share Image
“Share and Enjoy' is the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints Division, which now covers the major land… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
Some comics are in it for what they can get out of it. Others are in it for a love of comedy.… — Johnny Vegas Copy Share Image
“Oh, I used to lie all the time as a kid." I didn't think of it as lying, though. I thought of… — Jenny Han Copy Share Image
“Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated… — Kerry E. Wagner Copy Share Image
“We leafed through a series of the [1941 Soviet] Front newspaper. I came across the following phrase in a leading article: 'The… — Vasily Grossman Copy Share Image
“What about you? If I asked you . . . would you turn me?" Faith's eyes went wide. "Turn you into a… — Dianne Sylvan Copy Share Image
“We have an opportunity to love in love with our Savior. Not an erratic, emotionalism, romatic comedy kind of love, but a… — Tyler Braun Copy Share Image
I've never disguised the fact that I wasn't happy in teaching. But the reason was that I wanted to do comedy. I… — Greg Davies Copy Share Image
“The Proclaimers thunder through my head. Imagine it. Imagine killing someone to the tune of two Scottish nerds wearing glasses and flattop… — Markus Zusak Copy Share Image
“He leaned in even closer until she could count the bristles on his poorly shaven chin. “But you’re pretty. You can stay.… — Cari Silverwood Copy Share Image
“But here's the biggest head-scratcher of all: Not only are atheists destroying our country, they're completely deluding themselves. There's simply no way… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“The R is the wrong way roond and you left the A and a Y out of Anybody,' said Jeannie, because it… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest… — Chris Pratt Copy Share Image
“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Eat pudding. Books are good. Eat pudding. If kids read a lot. Eat pudding. They'll get so… — Daniel Pinkwater Copy Share Image
I'd love to do a really juicy drama that's just really real. On the comedy side, I'd love to do something like… — Daniela Bobadilla Copy Share Image
“You always have a lot going on Harper. It's like your thing. When you die in a hundred years, they'll probably write… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
“We're all guilty of saying insincere things at one point or another, if only just to make the moment not totally suck… — Jen Naumann Copy Share Image
“I'll never let you go. Don't even think about running away. Don't give any other bastard so much as a passing glance.… — Hajin Yoo Copy Share Image
“Mr. False! No, don't start grabbing the chickens! Better off farmer with no chickens than a load of chickens with no farmer!… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“So, what’s the plan?” I asked as I sat down at the table not really big enough for two. Liam grabbed my… — Tammy Blackwell Copy Share Image
“No wonder kids grow up crazy. A cat's cradle is nothing but a bunch of X's between somebody's hands, and little kids… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
“You’ve come about your manuscript? It’s with the reader; no, I’m getting that wrong, it’s been read, very interesting, of course, now… — Italo Calvino Copy Share Image
With comedy especially, it feels like such a clear-cut thing to be a writer-director. There is so much nuance and tone in… — Todd Phillips Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Just because a country elects a smart president doesn't make it a smart country. A couple of weeks ago, I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I like men with quick wit, good conversation and a great sense of humour. I love banter. I want a man to… — Emma Watson Copy Share Image
![“We leafed through a series of the [1941 Soviet] Front newspaper. I came across the following phrase in a leading article: 'The much-battered enemy continued his cowardly advance.” quote by Vasily Grossman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b6/vasily-grossman-4608_eastern-front_we-leafed-through-a-series-of-the-1941-s_1814252.jpg)
