I came from the Groundlings Theatre in L.A., and there, you're guaranteed to at least try something out in front of an… — Taran Killam Copy Share Image
“THOMASINA: But then the Egyptian noodle made carnal embrace with the enemy who burned the great library of Alexandria without so much… — Tom Stoppard Copy Share Image
“Claudette Colbert was not Hollywood’s greatest beauty, but her trim little figure, round, kitten-like face, and obviously intelligent good humor made her… — Eve Golden Copy Share Image
“Finally, Charlie gave up the hunt and placed (the puppy) back on the floor, dispatching fleas was not his idea of a… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
The more a character wants and the less a character has the ability to get what they want, the more you have… — Alex Hirsch Copy Share Image
“In this book I will teach you, based on stuff I have either made up, observed, or overheard, how to live the… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
As for me, I believe that if there's a God - and I am as neutral on the subject as is possible… — Elizabeth McCracken Copy Share Image
“I’ve never done this before. I didn’t go to human bars. Mudslides aside, I’m not much of a drinker. Club people are… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
I have always found men who were funny, irresistible. It's rare that I ever based love on looks or superficial things, but… — Gilda Radner Copy Share Image
“TIMING TOAST Grook on how to char for yourself There's an art of knowing when. Never try to guess. Toast until it… — Piet Hein Copy Share Image
“Where were you?" I know my husband well enough to know when he's reaching for an excuse. I stare at his lips,… — Joz Maxel Copy Share Image
“If only Myrtle would pay attention to the Boy's Own Journal, Blackwood's Magazine, etc., she would know that these creatures were Threls,… — Philip Reeve Copy Share Image
“Dear Eldritch Snitch. I slap you with the satin glove of righteous wrath! From what noxious nest of nattering nincompoopery do you… — James Kennedy Copy Share Image
Don't judge anybody until you've walked a mile in their shoes. After that it doesn't matter, because they're a mile away and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I try to offset any tendency towards the macabre with humour. As I see it, this is a typically English form of… — Alfred Hitchcock Copy Share Image
“He sits down on the edge of the bed. “I wanted to talk to someone who wasn’t food or family.” There’s no… — Cat Hellisen Copy Share Image
“Victor eyed the glistening tubes in the tray around Dibbler's neck. They smelled appetizing. They always did. And then you bit into… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The strangeness of the Barrayaran government system with all its unwritten customs, pressed on Cordelia not so much as first glance but… — Lois McMaster Bujold Copy Share Image
“I guess that was nice of Chiron, for the dogs' sake, but it kind of makes me wonder if he's got a… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
I grew up watching 'Big Train,' these collectives of comedians who knew each other, and as a comedy fan you knew who… — Natasia Demetriou Copy Share Image
“Any historian of warfare knows that it is in good part a comedy of errors and a museum of incompetence; but if… — Richard Hofstadter Copy Share Image
“Bill Cosby said it pretty eloquently: “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
“Jeth had an unnatural talent for nuclear physics. Should that be a crime? He didn't like governments. Who did? How smart do… — Tom Francis Copy Share Image
I knew I wanted to be in comedy but the path of least resistance was doing stand-up in folk music clubs where… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“Real quick, African Booty Scratcher is probably the most specific and regional insult ever. As if Europeans, Americans, and Asians don’t scratch… — Gabourey Sidibe Copy Share Image
“I just told them that dear Uncle Silas has gone away on a long journey," she said. "They're such mites, you know,… — Georgette Heyer Copy Share Image
It's much easier for me to do an impression of someone real, because you and the audience begin with a baseline understanding… — Kate McKinnon Copy Share Image
“I’ll meet you tomorrow morning at ten in your office, and explain everything. In the meantime, go home and get some sleep.”… — Christina Henry Copy Share Image
True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart. It is not contempt; its essence is love. It issues… — Thomas Carlyle Copy Share Image
Every week for me was the same audience, and every week they heckled me. The better I got at comedy, the better… — Felipe Esparza Copy Share Image
“Moje uznanie, Reinmarze. Łeż to, jak widzę, że uniwersytety mogą młodzika nauczyć jeno pijaństwa, wszeteczeństwa i plugawej mowy. Łeż, zaprawdę.” — Andrzej Sapkowski Copy Share Image
“Icy: You ladies want to hear something funny? The quiz in last month's Teen Witch said "What would you do if you… — Darcy Icy the Winx Club Copy Share Image
“Miss Langman was often, in interviews, described as a witty conversationalist; how can a woman be witty when she hasn't a sense… — Truman Capote Copy Share Image
“Chance likes to ride in back, standing up at red lights and pounding on the roof in (what he insists is) Morse… — Kelley York Copy Share Image
“Celibacy is the Tesla family secret, passed down through the generations.” “Celibacy, passed down through the generations?”Victor asked dryly. I flushed. “Its… — Vinnie Tesla Copy Share Image
“He tried to press the machine into my hands, but I stepped back. He was getting too close, and besides, I didn't… — Minfong Ho Copy Share Image
I definitely don't take any of intrusions in my private life personally. You learn how to have a sense of humor pretty… — Christopher Bollen Copy Share Image
“Packing is one of those many things that I feel I know more about than any other person living. (It surprises me… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
“Half an hour later, each of them had been given a complicated circular chart, and was attempting to fill in the position… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
I'll get laughs in the places I don't want them and that makes me realize the direction I want to go in.… — Baron Vaughn Copy Share Image
