“McG: 11:39 PM: Tease. A: Bushy prehistoric looking veggies frighten me. Lilliana: 11:41 PM: WTH are we talking about here? McG: 11:42… — Ella Dominguez Copy Share Image
There are tons of things I'd love to do. I want to do comedy. It's not that I don't want to play… — Jason Momoa Copy Share Image
“That's just like you, man... But wait, you're keeping a bunch of old plastic bags around? Aren't you getting a little too… — Saekisan Copy Share Image
I find painting a much slower process than comedy, where you can go a mile a minute verbally and hope to God… — Jonathan Winters Copy Share Image
Dad was much more critical. I did a comedy in Windsor and he came round afterwards with a load of paperwork and… — Finty Williams Copy Share Image
I started doing comedy with no plan to do voice work. Voice work came as a function of doing comedy and meeting… — H. Jon Benjamin Copy Share Image
“So they rolled up their sleeves and sat down to experiment -- by simulation, that is mathematically and all on paper. And… — Stanisław Lem Copy Share Image
“She's Magnificent," Darius said, smiling proudly as he vaulted the steps and followed Aphrodite. "I can think of a lot of m… — P.C. Cast Copy Share Image
“Joy said she hadn't really understood the meaning of life until Tyffanie had come along, but now she understood it perfectly. Well,… — Wally Lamb Copy Share Image
“I believe you to be Filidor Vesh," said the dwarf. "You are entitled to your beliefs, however ill-founded," Filidor replied. "No doubt… — Matthew Hughes Copy Share Image
“Colonel Cargill was so awful a marketing executive that his services were much sought after by firms eager to establish losses for… — Joseph Heller Copy Share Image
“Ye know, doan't ye, what it feels like when ye burn yer hand in takin' a cake out of the oven or… — Stella Gibbons Copy Share Image
Single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy… — Ash Sweeney Copy Share Image
So welcome 'Damsels in Distress,' an exhilarating gift of a comedy about college, the female intellect, the limitless male ego, inventing a… — Peter Travers Copy Share Image
Comedy, not screaming at someone, can make someone lift their legs higher. There is a way to do a push-up and a… — Richard Simmons Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry but I don't need saving. Maybe pour all that energy into a worthy cause, like saving the whales, or the… — Jayde Scott Copy Share Image
Humor can help you to disagree without being disagreeable. The key in democracy is not necessarily that we agree, but that we… — Gerald R. Ford Copy Share Image
“ Alexander Hamilton Junior High School -- SEMESTER REPORT -- STUDENT: Joseph Margolis TEACHER: Janet Hicks ENGLISH: A, ARITHMETIC: A, SOCIAL STUDIES:… — Steve Kluger Copy Share Image
“Q: You'er presented with a smooth-faced, eight-foot-high wooden wall. Your objective? Get over it. To, like, save comrades or something. How to… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
“Oliver opened the door of the carriage and found his puppets huddled together on the bench. He gestured for them to come… — Zeinab Alayan Copy Share Image
Canada, as you know, is a major important nation boasting a sophisticated, cosmopolitan culture that was tragically destroyed last week by beavers. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Briec removed his clothes and slipped into bed with her, wrapping his arms around her waist and snuggling her from behind. “Izzy?”… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“Jody screamed at him: a high, explosive, unintelligible expulsion of pure inhuman frustration--a Hendrix high note sampled and sung by a billion… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I think I always wanna write comedy because that's what feels truest to me; it feels closest to life as I know… — Owen King Copy Share Image
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun… — Alan King Copy Share Image
“Susie: Hi Calvin! Aren't you excited about going to school? Look at all these great school supplies I got! I love having… — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
“Christy said. "It's just weird, your seeing him like that. What are you going to do?" "Nothing. What can I do?" "Maybe… — Robin Jones Gunn Copy Share Image
“I thought privately to myself that with so many omens and prophecies to warn them off, heroes were really awfully stupid to… — Moira Katson Copy Share Image
“After an hour of gliding though the crowd and two glasses of tepid wine later, Penelope had reached the spiritual state of… — Anya Wylde Copy Share Image
“Just a month after the completion of the Declaration of Independence, at a time when he delegates might have been expected to… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
“Today someone asked me if that old stereotype about hot-headed Italians is true. I answered this way: About 2,000 years ago, there… — Quentin R. Bufogle Copy Share Image
“Waking up each day, is like you are in the Basketball Court dribbling the ball, its up to you.. If you wan't… — Xing Copy Share Image
When you're coming up with your philosophy and approach to performing comedy, you take special note of the things you disagree with… — Andy Daly Copy Share Image
According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
He who drinks a tumbler of London water has literally in his stomach more animated beings than there are men, women, and… — Sydney Smith Copy Share Image
“I should think he must be rather a dressy man for his time of life. Such a number of looking-glasses! Oh Lord!… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
“It was funny how none of her classes in library science had prepared her for this sort of thing, dead bodies, staff… — Jen McKinlay Copy Share Image
“Isn't that thing a little unsanitary for the workplace?" I pointed to his lip ring. "I assure you that my lip ring… — Magan Vernon Copy Share Image
“If asked for an opinion we’ll say what we think. And by “what we think” I mean the answer that comes to… — Aaron Blaylock Copy Share Image
