The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Because glitter doesn't… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I read "Pride and Prejudice" [by Jane Austen]. I was gobsmacked by it - it's so funny and so modern. Unbelievable. You… — Julie Walters Copy Share Image
“I kept trying to explain and he kept shouting until I began to cry from frustration. Then he felt remorseful, which was… — Mary Ann Shaffer Copy Share Image
Whenever I do comedy, my trouble is that I laugh too much - I enjoy myself too much, so it's quite expensive… — Paterson Joseph Copy Share Image
Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I was doing Facebook comedy videos; then I moved over to Instagram, and then I hopped on Twitter. That is where I… — Lil Nas X Copy Share Image
“Now then, Mr. Crab," said the zebra, "here are the people I told you about; and they know more than you do,… — L. Frank Baum Copy Share Image
“...Most attackers aren't going to be dissuaded by a witty remark." "That's profiling," said Mattheus. "Maybe they're Oscar Wilde fans." "He did… — Amy Fecteau Copy Share Image
“Wow, she doesn't have any bones. Like, at all. Where the f*ck are her bones? Am I still drunk? Did I sleep… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“You believe what he's saying - that they're demons?" Simon nods. "Like, from hell?'" "No," Rafa says, "from Comic-Con." He shakes his… — Paula Weston Copy Share Image
“What if a pair of us head off on our own?" Nollin proposed, panting. "A small detachment might avoid detection." "It's a… — Brandon Mull Copy Share Image
Eugene Mirman is the Andy Warhol of comedy. People look to him for what's next in comedy, and he emails these people… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
“Despite your delusions to the contrary, swingers, by and large, are a civilized lot. We come in all ages, shapes, sizes, nationalities,… — Daniel Stern Copy Share Image
I think comedy allows people to accept the more difficult parts of history. And history, if it's presented wrong, is just very… — James McBride Copy Share Image
“Lord, I can’t live in his mashed potato world. I need my tubers scalloped and diced and baked and fried and different… — Lorna Seilstad Copy Share Image
I wasn't classically trained as an actor; I wasn't pursuing standup comedy. I really came into it through the back door. And… — H. Jon Benjamin Copy Share Image
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“Do you mind?" I looked at him from my upside-down position. The rope tight around my ankle, hands fought a losing battle… — Isabelle Crusoe Copy Share Image
“She turned on me a flatteringly protracted but a wiltingly disapproving gaze, & then went inside, humming a light song to indicate… — O. Henry Copy Share Image
Comedy makes everything accessible. Watching the news is kind of like being fed your evening pill. What's fun about it? Nothing. And… — Dan Aykroyd Copy Share Image
The danger to power is obsession - power junkies. You need a very strong mind and humor to balance yourself. If you… — Frederick Lenz Copy Share Image
“An academic definition of Lynchian might be that the term "refers to a particular kind of irony where the very macabre and… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
“Girls at war opt for a quieter cruelty than fistfights and drive-by shootings. Girls circumvent the corporeal and go straight for each… — Jillian Lauren Copy Share Image
I think it's harder to go from comedy to drama than from drama to comedy. Seeing you dramatic all the time, they… — Evan Peters Copy Share Image
“Almost all crime depends on the acquiescence of the victim. If the victim refuses his assigned role, the criminal is placed at… — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
I hear that I'm funny, and I think I'm funny, but I go in all the time for multicam, and they say… — Kirby Bliss Blanton Copy Share Image
It took getting on TikTok and people having the opportunity to see my comedy to realize like oh, there's actually a lot… — Matt Rife Copy Share Image
I was voted Most Humorous in my senior class in high school, and I was a fan of comedy, my whole life.… — Rob Riggle Copy Share Image
“Jeremy and Karl and Elizabeth have known each other since the first day of kindergarten. Amy and Talis are a year younger...Now… — Kelly Link Copy Share Image
Laughter keeps you healthy. You can survive by seeing the humor in everything. Thumb your nose at sadness; turn the tables on… — Bel Kaufman Copy Share Image
I did not intend to write a funny book, at first. I did not know I was a humorist. I have never… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
“The Blue Hose of Presbyterian College and the Ichabods of Washburn University are perhaps the most amusing nicknames in collegiate sports; Blue… — Gregg Easterbrook Copy Share Image
“I was afraid of anyone in a costume. A trip to see Santa might as well have been a trip to sit… — Paul Feig Copy Share Image
“You’ve never called the baby by name before.” This earned her a twitch of his lips, maybe impatience, maybe humor. “We’re drinking… — Grace Burrowes Copy Share Image
Steven Alan Green is ONE funny writer ---- Everything I read of yours makes me laugh and think - Not just the… — Taylor Negron Copy Share Image
I like doing everything - theater and film, radio and TV, comedy and tragedy. I love it all. And I've never really… — Alfred Molina Copy Share Image
“HARV appeared in front of me, arms crossed, head tilted. “You really should read your e-mails from Randy more carefully,” he lectured.… — John Zakour Copy Share Image
“I saved you,” Andersen said at last, slowly but firmly, like Pat was an idiot child who had to be reminded of… — Alex Gabriel Copy Share Image
The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension,… — J. K. Rowling Copy Share Image
You know, some of the action stuff, I tend to have a pretty good sense of humor about it. Even when I… — Dolph Lundgren Copy Share Image
![“I read "Pride and Prejudice" [by Jane Austen]. I was gobsmacked by it - it's so funny and so modern. Unbelievable. You don't expect funny to come through after 200 years - humor doesn't transcend decades, let alone centuries.” quote by Julie Walters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/33d/julie-walters-10631_austen_i-read-pride-and-prejudice-by-jane-auste_2088019.jpg)
