“When I asked my boss if he would refer me to someone in London where I was going next, he replied, "If… — Philip Tan Copy Share Image
“I looked at Judith. "This sounds strange, but I don't suppose you saw three mad women with a cauldron of boiling tea… — Kate Griffin Copy Share Image
“People are always doing studies. Now there's one that says drinking coffee can lead to the prevention of memory loss in old… — Ariel Leve Copy Share Image
“It’s all right to change your mind about a situation, even if it’s in mid-course without fear that you’re missing something. You… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Death is still the terrible yet amusing entity that establishes a compromise between memory and a sense of humor, and between the… — Carlos Monsivais Copy Share Image
“I was determined to teach him (Jeremy) a safe route if nothing else, and not to repeat his legendary North Pole experience.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think that having comedy where people talk the way they really talk, when you talk with your friends and whatever, it's… — Seth Gordon Copy Share Image
“The moment you think is unbearable forces you to disappoint yourself by bearing it. There's resigned laughter available, for the hilarity of… — Glen Duncan Copy Share Image
“You cannot, it seems, let children run about the streets. People who have seen them running wild in Russia say that the… — Virginia Woolf Copy Share Image
“His long wait is almost done. I am sending Balon Swann to Sunspear, to deliver him the head of Gregor Clegane.” Ser… — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“Society never made the preposterous demand that a man should think as much about his own qualifications for making a charming girl… — George Eliot Copy Share Image
“I climbed over the machine gun and into the Casspir. Clearing my throat respectfully, I mentioned these minor points to Brand, wondering… — Jim Hooper Copy Share Image
I am not an educator and I'm not a journalist. I am a comedian. But I do truly believe that the point… — Adam Conover Copy Share Image
“Seriously, Palta…” He was honestly puzzled, “I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about. What about your ears is supposed to… — M.A. George Copy Share Image
That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
“What? You’re just going to stand there and watch me?” she snapped at him. “You’re not very nice,” he stated, taking a… — Debra Trueman Copy Share Image
“...You see I believe in that stuff to: yoga and mystical powers. I once knew a man who could kill himself on… — Roman Payne Copy Share Image
You know how Mexican restaurants always have "border" in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn't do that to black people:… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk.… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“A green X-wing closed in tighter to the formation. "Yes, sir." Though distorted by the comm system, the voice sounded indulgent rather… — Aaron Allston Copy Share Image
“...Falon sucked hard on her straw and swallowed. “You haven’t mentioned a girlfriend or a wife.” “That’s because I don’t have one.”… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
“—Then, said Cranly, you do not intend to become a protestant? —I said that I had lost the faith, Stephen answered, but… — James Joyce Copy Share Image
The key is just to ignore the pain, because physical comedy only works if you see someone get hurt and they aren't… — Chris Pratt Copy Share Image
“Venice she is like the beautiful cortigiana—the courtesan—who has”—Zeggio frowned, searching for the phrase he wanted—“dropped on the hours of trouble.” “Fallen… — Loretta Chase Copy Share Image
I think humor really is the most effective way for me personally to express myself. When I see an incredible formalist painting,… — Chloe Wise Copy Share Image
“People will tell you what to do. Don't listen them. Do what is right and what you love. Ultimately they would have… — Laksh Kishore Copy Share Image
“Finding a proper husband is rather like selecting a hound. They all have more bark than bite, my girl. One day you'll… — Emma Jane Holloway Copy Share Image
“And sometimes we discuss frightening and troublesome animals that might be nearby, and this topic always leads to much disagreement over which… — Lemony Snicket Copy Share Image
“According to Mark 11:12-13, God's messengers were not the only ones who were incompetent: 'He [Jesus] was hungry. And on seeing in… — G.M. Jackson Copy Share Image
“What the hell is this stuff?" he muttered, frowning at the oily spot on the linen cloth. "Pearlman slathered it on me… — Patricia Gaffney Copy Share Image
Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Moths? You're afraid of MOTHS?" Will asked incredulously. "Yeah, so what? They're all papery and their wings are all gross! They're just..Uckkk!"… — Veronica Roth Copy Share Image
“I will not be quiet. I cannot believe you’re moving to Greece. That’s… that’s insane.” Now hang on a second! “It’s not… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“Readers will recall that the little evidence collected seemed to point to the strange and confusing figure of an unidentified Air Force… — J.G. Ballard Copy Share Image
Good Luck Chuck, a comedy starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, opened today, and critics are saying it has all the belly… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I think that laughter and death are closely related: comedy is the quintessential human reaction to the fear of death. It's probably… — Maurizio Cattelan Copy Share Image
I feel like with comedy, the crazy things that happen are never serious you know? Like, rubble being poured onto you in… — Vanessa Hudgens Copy Share Image
“Are you threatening me?” He looked completely outraged at such a thing. “You bet your incredibly attractive and probably hard enough to… — Katie MacAlister Copy Share Image
“When Grant Blue reaches me, he bends his head down close enough that I can smell the soap and promise on his… — Isobel Irons Copy Share Image
“She turned and pointed at her ass. “And I could be wrong, but I think this thing is even bigger than is… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
![“According to Mark 11:12-13, God's messengers were not the only ones who were incompetent: 'He [Jesus] was hungry. And on seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to see if he could find anything on it. When he came to it, he found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs.'…” quote by G.M. Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f25/g-m-jackson-38985_bible-absurdities_according-to-mark-11-12-13-god-s-messeng_2566275.jpg)
