Man went into a bar, he only had one arm. Guy sitting next to him said 'Hey, you've got your sleeve in… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
“Leo,” Jason said, “you’re weird.” “Yeah, you tell me that a lot.” Leo grinned. “But if you don’t remember me, that means… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“...every year for decades there had been great excitement over the Largest Vegetable competition ("That would be my husband", was the standard… — G.M. Malliet Copy Share Image
“At any rate," she prattled on, awkwardness making her words run together, "I really can't get up to get my clothing, and… — Julia Quinn Copy Share Image
“You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!' IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Morpheus places his hand on Jeb's busy fingers, eyes opened to slits. "Ah, my pretty pseudo elf." He takes labored breath. "is… — A.G. Howard Copy Share Image
“OK, I confess. I Googled him once. Maybe twice. Oh, all right, so I've lost count over the years. But so what?… — Alexandra Potter Copy Share Image
“Ronan pointed at the cart. "Get in there." "What?" He just continued pointing. Adam said, "Give me a break. This is a… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
“Did you really have to put ideas in Izzy's head? she now has some…What did she call it? Oh yeah "Trifecta of… — Harper Sloan Copy Share Image
“Warning: Contains old friends, old enemies, a dramatic cat rescue, soft drink references and a lot of teasing before the steamy sex.… — K.A. Mitchell Copy Share Image
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“When answering the question "Who won?" "Peter. Damn mutant cyborg. He can run the fastest. I guess that's a good thing, since… — Joey W. Hill Copy Share Image
“You sure you don't want to go?” Grandma Mazur asked my mother. “I didn't know Moogey Bues,” my mother told her. “I've… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“...Stella’s tiny butt stuck in the air as she stretched to reach a weed. She was wearing a pair of jeans and… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
When I do comedy, my brain sort of locks up in the infinite possibilities. That's where I get sort of lost. I… — Ryan Reynolds Copy Share Image
Yes, trash like 'Man of Steel' and 'Justice League' don't hold a candle to the humor, continuity and action of most Marvel… — Jason Johnson Copy Share Image
“Whenever other Lore creatures like the nymphs and satyrs turned their noses up at the “hex-hacks,” Carrow would raise both her hands… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
Everybody in comedy has something like that happen to them: They bomb, or no one shows up. You're like, 'Hey, I'm funny,… — Thomas Middleditch Copy Share Image
Inevitably you're going to be delayed somewhere. Always have a book. Always have a movie. Always have a notebook. And then always… — Phil Keoghan Copy Share Image
“I have tutored Little Igor to be a man of this world. For example, I exhibited him a smutty magazine three days… — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“I shook my head. 'I did not contribute to the sex trade, no. I know you're disappointed; I'm sorry.' Linn huffed through… — Cary Attwell Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be a comedic actor - that's what I wanted from the job - to do comedy and to… — Adam DeVine Copy Share Image
“Phones have caused all my uni dramas to date. You wouldn't catch Elizabeth Bennet sending a comedy guinea pig picture to Darcy.… — Tom Ellen Copy Share Image
“Destiny is a funny thing. Once I thought I was destined to become Emperor of Greenland, sole monarch over its 52,000 inhabitants.… — Ben Edlund Copy Share Image
“You are the strangest girl I've ever met," he said, like he thought I was joking. He picked up his water bottle… — Katie Kacvinsky Copy Share Image
“I'd heard that if you saw a Reaper, you saw what you expected to see, what you thought the agents of Death… — Lisa Shearin Copy Share Image
“It’s like before when there was a huge pile up on the highway, as soon as you got to the point in… — Katelin LaMontagne Copy Share Image
“Holy Moly Moses. Are youserious?” Shelly grinned at me. “Did you just say, Holy Moly Moses?” “I did, and I meant every word of it.” “I love how… — Penny Reid Copy Share Image
“I tell them to bring him in. He comes in smiling in triumph. And he can't speak English. After his hours of… — Charlie Chaplin Copy Share Image
With actors like Steve McQueen, Paul Newman and Harrison Ford, what made them such icons is that even in dramatic movies, their… — Patrick Wilson Copy Share Image
It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or… — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
“I need to be casual but not too casual. Dressy but not too dressy. I need him to think I just threw… — Gemma Halliday Copy Share Image
“When he had brushed a thin coat of dust off the pebbled leather cover of one volume, he saw the words: Register… — John Bellairs Copy Share Image
I worked at comedy clubs - if I can use the term 'work' - for several years. I middled at one point.… — Bill Nye Copy Share Image
“We take a great deal for granted in this world, and expect that everything as a matter of course ought to fit… — Margaret Gatty Copy Share Image
I've always thought that Lewis Carroll himself had a certain comedy tinge to him. He was a guy who was a satirist.… — James Bobin Copy Share Image
“Respect is not creative ... Chanel is an institution, and you have to treat an institution like a whore — and then… — Karl Lagerfeld Copy Share Image
Comedy isn't really something where you get discovered. You can't network your way to being funny or talented. It's not hard to… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
Well, I think comedy can be a great unifier. If someone can laugh about something, maybe they can become more open to… — Desi Lydic Copy Share Image
