Humor Quotes · Page 541

“The boy sang in a shrill high descant and seemed to be trying not to sing in tune.”

— Anton Chekhov

After all, when a thought takes one's breath away, a lesson on grammar seems an impertinence.

— Thomas Wentworth Higginson

Accents are funny. It sets me apart from the other girls doing comedy. It gives me more—how do you say?—pop-oo-laaarrrity.

— Sofia Vergara

After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month.

— Chic Murray

“But that’s the thing about dead people: they can’t warn you to keep your nose out of things that are going to…

— LynDee Walker

“You can do this, Adria. Don't wolf-out on me, especially not in my lap, alright? These are my favorite jeans.”

— J.A. Redmerski

“I stepped forward as commanded, wondering which of the many rules I had broken now.”

— Georg Rauch

You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.

— John Oliver

“We took up a collection and sent a telegram to the authorities of that town. The text of the message was that…

— Jack London

Whenever I do a comedy show I still just read poems, some of which are intentionally funny and some of which are…

— Aaron Belz

“What exactly did having needs mean, while he was on the subject? That Delaney needed to have sex? that she craved an…

— Sarah Mayberry

There's a lot more room for error in drama. With comedy, if you mess up, you fall flat on your face. With…

— Nikki Cox

I'm growing fonder of my staff; I'm growing dimmer in the eyes; I'm growing fainter in my laugh; I'm growing deeper in…

— John Godfrey Saxe

Well I would say that, you know, I agree in part with that it [The Starter Wife] is fantasy and it is…

— Debra Messing

“She looked... She looked young, and- and--" I glanced down at Rossana gazing up at me, lips parted, eyes shining, her hair…

— Theresa Breslin

An interesting difference between African-American humor and Jewish humor, in it's kind of basic or maybe most austere type form is, African-American…

— Terry Gross

“She knew it! Charlotte just knew it! And now her daughter was boyfriend-less! Yes! Wait-no! Oh no, poor Lu.”

— Shannon Hale

I like girls with a good sense of humour. Girls who are a lot of fun to be around.

— Corbin Bleu

“I don't like doing anything that makes you sweat if you don't come at the end of it.”

— Russell Brand

“All’s well that ENDS well, eh, Chuck?” his father joked as his mom and little sister giggled. Pale as a ghost, Chuck…

— O. Penn-Coughin

Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.

— Jim Gaffigan

“The secret of his success is that he never went to business school. Imagina all the lessons he never had to unlearn.”

— Peter Lynch

“When boy likes you, you say no thank you. You don't kick him on the ground.”

— Jenny Han

“In love? You're crazy, and even if you weren't, you're too young to get married.”

— Stacey Jay

Too often, these comedy guys now only care about getting on and then getting off and getting rich.

— Mort Sahl

“It was not healthy for one man's smile to make my panties spontaneously combust”

— Molly Harper

I've had my own comedy series on telly and I know the truth about politics.

— Harry Enfield

If an audience is loud and in a party mode, that's an audience that can absorb comedy.

— Tom Green

“Most unintelligent or foolish people do not regard themselves as that; they regard themselves as not-that-intelligent or not-that-wise.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It's true that laughter really is cheap medicine. It's a prescription anyone can afford. And best of all, you can fill it…

— Steve Goodier

Only Fools' wasn't just a comedy show, it became part of people's lives.

— Paul Whitehouse

Sometimes strident, often tender, never afraid and seldom without humour, Desmond Tutu's voice will always be the voice of the voiceless.

— Nelson Mandela

“You want some advice?" "Yes" "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”

— Michael Robotham

The only non-believer I encountered was Oscar Levant who wouldn't visit Disneyland because he said he had his own hallucinations.

— Jack Paar

“Incredible how small a room seems when you’re sharing it with a naked person.”

— Brett Hopson

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

— Bill Cosby

The Irish crowd and the humour, they really get it. Them riffing with 'The Room' makes the film watchable for me.

— Greg Sestero

“Why, without a sense of humour, you are blind to so much in the world. To human nature. To the absurdity of…

— Steven Erikson

Everyone goes through all kinds of relationship situations. I'm lucky that I get to be on two comedy shows [during divorce].

— Fred Armisen

“You are old and grey,” she teased. “And you’re never too immortal for a spanking,” he shot back...”

— Dianna Hardy