Humans had spent thousands of years climbing out of caves and building technology so they could reach the moon and live in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
She was everything I wanted. She was beautiful and charming, with a quick sense of humor, and she supported me in everything… — Nicholas Sparks Copy Share Image
“Payback's a bitch, but thankfully those tissues are only full of snot and tears instead of dead little sperms.” — Toni Aleo Copy Share Image
“It's not like I got caught masturbating, for chrissake; she doesn't know me, why the hell would she care if I'm superstitious?… — S.D. Perry Copy Share Image
Sometimes I make myself laugh, but that's because I appreciate my sense of humor. — Regina Hall Copy Share Image
If they put pictures of lost kids on beer cans instead of milk cartons, we'd find them in about 15 minutes! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Why are all you hets all so intercourse-centric? There's a lot more to sex than sticking it in and wiggling it around.” — Anne Tenino Copy Share Image
“Emma, okay, enough with the singing. Mommy's getting a three-pill headache.” — Jeff Abbott Copy Share Image
Some glory in their birth , some in their skill , Some in their wealth , some in their bodies' force ,… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“His instructions for the flight had been unequivocal. He was to remain quiet and anonymous, avoiding unnecessary conversation and making every effort… — Kathryn Guare Copy Share Image
“The ship, which appeared to belong to another band, was just passing by for a look. She was bigger than the Old… — Nicholas Eames Copy Share Image
TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
I was inspired by comedy channels. I loved that they got to do sketches and could be funny and crude and make… — Eva Gutowski Copy Share Image
“Although i hate having to admit this, but the one good thing those annoying communists did right was to treat religion like… — Carlos Zen Copy Share Image
“Braith opened her eyes and screamed at what hovered above her, “Gods! Death comes for me!” The horrifying face of death curled… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students. "Don’t let it… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“People can. And do. And do it all the time. Fallibility is a close friend of mine.” — J.M. Lawler Copy Share Image
“The two had been together since they were little girls, and so loved and hated each other like sisters.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“From what he could see she had the legs of a much younger woman. Certainly not what he would have expected in… — Barbara Kingsolver Copy Share Image
Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be, to protect yourself. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“For Liza, a greeting is an opportunity to make new friends. For me, it's yet more people I'll have to avoid.” — Ariel Leve Copy Share Image
“But if you smile too constantly, the smile is apt to get fixed like the smile of the hyaena.” — E.Nesbit Copy Share Image
“Take it easy, Norman. When the psychiatrist goes crazy, it's a bad sign.” — Michael Crichton Copy Share Image
A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you're gonna take people on a journey that deals with some pretty heavy themes, I think you best have a sense… — Francesca Gregorini Copy Share Image
Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I've been called a funny person for a long time. I don't know that I know anything about comedic acting. — John Cho Copy Share Image
Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal. — Wanda Sykes Copy Share Image
When I lived in the UP of Michigan I never saw a fight in a bar. It's hard to hit a person… — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature. — Alfred North Whitehead Copy Share Image
“Just a donation request to support the brave public servants of Los Angeles during this time of budgetary shortfalls.” — Kate Danley Copy Share Image
“This is why we work together," he said. "We're different, but harmonious".” — Olivia Cunning Copy Share Image
I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
“Your pants are filthy, as if you rolled in the dirt before coming here. I would expect nothing less from the boy… — Jennifer A. Nielson Copy Share Image
I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.' — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
“Remember! Reality's an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold! Byeeee!” — Bill Cipher Gravity Falls tv show Copy Share Image
I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you couldnt tell because I was already sitting… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
You cannot say, because I am from Naples so I like the mixture of drama and comedy all together. — Sophia Loren Copy Share Image
“Everyone and everything comes into our life at exactly the right time.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
