Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
When you have satire, it has to be real. No matter how outrageous the comedy becomes, you have to believe in the… — Kevin Kline Copy Share Image
It is the heart that is not sure of its God that is afraid to laugh in His presence. — George MacDonald Copy Share Image
“I don't know about you, but this whole life thing has been the cause of all my problems.” — Bond Bixler Copy Share Image
My parents were very protective. I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets. — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
The first time I ever got up on a stage, I did a comedy poem. I don't know how I got there… — Lesley Nicol Copy Share Image
It is amazing that I'm making a career out of comedy, my family can't quite believe it. — Joe Lycett Copy Share Image
Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
“Go play your games with Jim. I'll find you both when I need you." Arrogant asshole. "I tell you what, if you… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
Those who see and observe kings, heroes, and statesmen, discover that they have headaches, indigestion, humors and passions, just like other people;… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
“I'm going on a diet. (Crud, I know) I am going to be cranky. I am going to be irritable. I am… — Richelle E. Goodrich Copy Share Image
I like guys who have a plan or a dream. A good sense of humor is also a must. I can be… — Edy Ganem Copy Share Image
I noticed I been spacing off quite a lot today... Most would say I'm unfocused and bored But I say this once… — MrCountry Copy Share Image
I don't know if there is a gene for comedy, but my dad was a very funny man. He just didn't know… — James Belushi Copy Share Image
If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
“No, this isn’t funny. She’s got to realize what she’s getting herself into. Our society isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s… — Nicole Gulla Copy Share Image
Don't talk to me." "Why not?" "Because I want to fix that in my memory for ever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you lead a life of scholarship you can't be bothered with the humorous realities, you know, tits, that kind of thing. — Harold Pinter Copy Share Image
“Your pants didn't get smaller, Mommy," I assured her. "Your butt got bigger.” — Gordon Korman Copy Share Image
Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Initially, when I saw some of the things Vince was doing, I thought he was killing the business. There was the comedy… — Ted DiBiase Sr Copy Share Image
“He seems to see good in every one. No one would take him for a clergyman.” — E.M. Forster Copy Share Image
“The pony stared at us lugubriously from the dashboard. Jesus. Little fucker had watched the whole thing.” — Leah Raeder Copy Share Image
I used to love comic books, and I love American comedy, and neither are afraid to tackle big themes. — Jamie Hewlett Copy Share Image
“I wondered for a moment if he was trying to get me to join a cult, but I realized it was just… — Catherine Lacey Copy Share Image
I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I'm in the company of good friends, but I'm not a jokesmith. I tend… — Rowan Atkinson Copy Share Image
When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Never love anybody who treats you like you're normal...they're just the psychiatric hospital staff” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait. — Katt Williams Copy Share Image
“Good sex and good humour have one important thing in common: good timing” — Alan Daniels Copy Share Image
My grandfather invented the cold air balloon... But it never really took off. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
“If my liver cared enough, it would have told me to stop. - Jonathan "Jack" McVoy” — E.J. Eisman Copy Share Image
If I lean towards one particular party, people would not enjoy my comedy. Also, to enter politics, I should first leave cinema… — Vivek Copy Share Image
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
In comedy, if you don't have the right tuning with your co-actor, the humour can fall flat. — Jacqueline Fernandez Copy Share Image
“Ingrid shrugged...like Marie Antoinette hearing about the starving peasants.” — Peter Abrahams Copy Share Image
“MURRY:[Father] Time is kind of a big deal and I'd rather not tick him off. MOLLY: Heh. Tick.” — Hillary DePiano Copy Share Image
Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em. — Flip Wilson Copy Share Image
“Subtle wits like to refresh themselves with a whiff of mild indecency.” — Robertson Davies Copy Share Image
“Would you buy potato chips that listed potato by-product or potato digest as an ingredient” — Michelle T. Bernard Copy Share Image
![“MURRY:[Father] Time is kind of a big deal and I'd rather not tick him off. MOLLY: Heh. Tick.” quote by Hillary DePiano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96a/hillary-depiano-28898_big-deal_murry-father-time-is-kind-of-a-big-deal_1286909.jpg)
