“A wide-brimmed spinster’s hat had been thrown up in the sky. It was gradually falling into the deep ocean.” — Zoë S. Roy Copy Share Image
“Do you ever tell the truth?" "Once. In fourth grade. It was overrated.” — Gemma Halliday Copy Share Image
“You got here in the nick of time," Johnny said, grinning insolently at him. "I was just about to start ripping off… — Karen Robards Copy Share Image
“Black holes are the last vestige of civilizations obsessed with tinkering.” — Kane Freeman Copy Share Image
“I'm trusting you not to break my heart. If it gets even a scratch, I'll break your face. -Shaye” — Gena Showalter Copy Share Image
“I was compared to Charles Bukowski yesterday. It was the best and worst compliment I've ever gotten.” — Rosa Sophia Copy Share Image
Apple was considering making an iPod for kids, but apparently iTouch kids didn't sit too well. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You see in comedy - performance is the cake and dialogue is like the icing on that cake. — Johnny Lever Copy Share Image
My sense of humor was a tool for me getting past my mother and father separating, my older brother having cerebral palsy,… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
“Well, if he wants to break up with me, then ha! I'll show him.' (Morgan) 'Who are you talking to?' (Megan) 'Myself.… — Lola James Copy Share Image
“The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of graceful and gilded forms… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never wanted to do just comedy or just drama; sometimes, going back and forth you can get yourself in trouble which… — Mike Binder Copy Share Image
Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize whether it be in church, a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I'm a natural clown, I suppose, in writing, and one has to accept that; I can't do anything about it. I have… — Anthony Burgess Copy Share Image
“Good luck,” I said automatically and then wanted to kick myself. Good luck? Have a lovely time, Mal. Hope you find a… — Leigh Bardugo Copy Share Image
“Nature has no originality--I mean, no large ability in the matter of inventing new things, new ideas, new stage effects. She has… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whatever else an American believes or disbelieves about himself, he is absolutely sure he has a sense of humor. — E. B. White Copy Share Image
Comedy is not commercial; it is risky, because what is funny in one place isn't always funny somewhere else. — Lloyd Kaufman Copy Share Image
“Of course I wanted to embarrass my children one day. Isn’t that why people had kids? Besides free labor, I mean.” — Laurel Ulen Curtis Copy Share Image
“...leaving no doubt he was the Chosen One. Chosen for what precisely, no one bothered to ask.” — Gourav Mohanty Copy Share Image
A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp." The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps." He says:… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“Hanna D: Your pep talks ----ing suck, AIDAN. AIDAN: . . . Suck what? Hanna D: Never mind.” — Jay Kristoff Copy Share Image
Insult comedy has been around forever. I can make fun of people, and they won't get mad at me. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
“If God wanted us to get high, he'd have created plants that became psychoactive when eaten or smoked.” — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“No, I'm not in a bad mood. Why do you ask? You think I need to be in a bad mood to… — Karen E. Quinones Miller Copy Share Image
“If there’s a vote taken as to which aspect of God I treasure the most, I’d say laughing.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
I can laugh at anything, there's humour in all of it and I think the minute you find it, the better life… — Bianca Del Rio Copy Share Image
I like doom and gloom with a sense of humour. Maybe it's a Scottish thing, we like to undercut indulgence with a… — Shirley Henderson Copy Share Image
A socialist is somebody who doesn't have anything, and is ready to divide it up equally among everybody. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“At no point during the making of this book have I inverted my penis although I did go to Blackpool which turned… — Matt Rudd Copy Share Image
“By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
“You know there is such a things as a door," I whispered. "You should try it some time.” — The Silver Siren Chanda Hahn Copy Share Image
If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute --… — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
“It's my new best friend, Claudius Templesmith, and as I expected it, he's inviting us to a feast.” — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
“I have seen their humor and anger expressed in natural terms and learned more about them as dogs and not just extensions… — Gary Paulsen Copy Share Image
“The look he shot her was incredulous in the extreme. "You have a filing system for your shoes?” — Norah Wilson Copy Share Image
I've always had a crazy sense of humor. So the ballet probably wouldn't have been enough for me. I had to clown… — Chita Rivera Copy Share Image
“Oh, I’m not objecting,” Navani said. “I’d let a confused dishwasher marry us.” — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“(I’ve often noticed that people equate ‘having a sense of humour’ with ‘being an insensitive moron’.) This” — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
