Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
If you're that hypersensitive about color and don't have a sense of humor, don't marry out of your race. — Laura Schlessinger Copy Share Image
In terms of level of difficulty, it would go comedy, thriller, and then romantic drama. — Sydney Pollack Copy Share Image
“Her soul is clear of any red seals, but that won't last long, ' cause Papa's come to play.” — Victoria Scott Copy Share Image
“Colin: "1 dinna understand why we canna just go to bed and have sex." He looked truly puzzled.” — Nina Bangs Copy Share Image
“There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard.” — Dan Florence Copy Share Image
Zen is non-serious. Zen has a tremendous sense of humor. No other religion has evolved so much that it can have that… — Rajneesh Copy Share Image
“I try to make my comments like a woman's skirt: long enough to be respectable and short enough to be interesting. ” — Adam Clayton Powell Copy Share Image
“You wouldn't think that people would believe that we all got so incredibly beat up—in so many interesting ways—from a bear attack.… — Kendare Blake Copy Share Image
“I felt offended. So offended that I planned to ignore for the next few weeks the "friends" who'd sent me those pictures.… — Gabourey Sidibe Copy Share Image
“As he was forced to tell his father more than once, “I said I’d fight for my mother’s throne. I never said… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
Ah simple laughter that you trewing on my face. Is a simple karma that you will get for tomorrow.. Ah big clap… — Leodonessiony Copy Share Image
“At first, writing actually felt the more arduous of the two activities. But in order to reach cultural-center nirvana, I forced myself… — Yu Hua Copy Share Image
Voyeurism, watching people go about their daily lives, is universally funny, no matter the culture, no matter the anything, it's just always… — James Murray Copy Share Image
“A friend confided to me recently that she wasn't sure if it was the 'change,' plain old PMS, or just a slow… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
“Look, this is just the cemetery. It's got bylaws and things! It's not Transylvania! There's just dead people here! That doesn't make… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The first time I heard Richard Pryor, I knew he would be a major force in the world of comedy. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I don't like comedy that makes me feel worse about the world than I already felt before I turned it on. — Zach Woods Copy Share Image
“Dumb as he looked, he never missed an insult. Dr. Rowan musing about Simple Silas” — Ava Gray Copy Share Image
“My first boyfriend was black as well, but that doesn't prove I'm color-blind, just that I like big butts.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“She's using you to get to me," Hi said confidently. "Both of them. They've caught Hiram fever." I nodded. "Of course. It… — Kathy Reichs Copy Share Image
“I’m a creature of the night.” Slitted eyes peered at her suspiciously. “Good God, you’re not a morning person, are you?” — Tiffany Allee Copy Share Image
I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“If with the millions of nerves in your body and you still don't feel the pain of others, then you probably might… — Eli Coffie Copy Share Image
It's a no-win situation with politics; it's always going to be stressful. I'm more into the comedy of life. — Jordan Peele Copy Share Image
I don't have an agenda where I do a comedy and say, 'I have to do a drama next,' or 'I am… — Paul Rudd Copy Share Image
I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not. — Joe Biden Copy Share Image
Grubb goes back, back... He's under the warning track and makes the play. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
I'm sort of known in the comedy community as 'Smooth Sailing,' just 'cause everything always goes great. I've always had success at… — Jon Glaser Copy Share Image
“The bad part is you freeze your balls off, but since you're not allowed to breed anyway, I don't suppose that matters.” — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
I want to see good-quality comedy shows, not the slapstick ones or where people imitate others. — Jennifer Winget Copy Share Image
I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a despairing attempt at humour. — Nancy Springer Copy Share Image
“All men are tragic...All men are comic...Every man is important if he loses his life; and every man is funny if he… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
I am ready to work hard, do comedy, romance and action. Just give me that trust. — Jaideep Ahlawat Copy Share Image
Sudden glory is the passion which maketh those grimaces called laughter. — Thomas Hobbes Copy Share Image
“You're like crabgrass! Every time I turn around, you're on another part of the lawn!” — Gordon Korman Copy Share Image
“I deny their credentials as whales; and have presented them with their passports to quit the Kingdom of Cetology.” — Herman Melville Copy Share Image
“If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
