The fabric of society is woven together by the needle of suppression and denial. — Dov Davidoff Denial Copy Share Image
Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move. — Dov Davidoff Drive Copy Share Image
Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine. — Dov Davidoff Atm Copy Share Image
I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded. — Dov Davidoff Alone time Copy Share Image
Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron. — Dov Davidoff Adults Copy Share Image
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them. — Dov Davidoff Boobs Copy Share Image
I like to be able to connect with people. And that's how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm around people it causes me to feel nostalgic for the loneliness that drove me into their presence in the first… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't… — Dov Davidoff Addiction Copy Share Image
Finding your voice is something you have to keep working at. Your voice as a comic evolves the same way that you… — Dov Davidoff Comic Copy Share Image
You forget how crazy people are in New York, all the people on the sidewalk. When you leave here, everyone's in their… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater. — Dov Davidoff Culture Copy Share Image
If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else. — Dov Davidoff Advice Copy Share Image
If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'. — Dov Davidoff Happiness Copy Share Image
Perhaps being hated in the right way is preferable to being loved in the wrong one. — Dov Davidoff Being hated Copy Share Image
Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'? — Dov Davidoff Clubs Copy Share Image
Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right? — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal. — Dov Davidoff Animal Copy Share Image
My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Saying, have a great work-out is like saying, I hope you pull something. — Dov Davidoff Fitness Copy Share Image
Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together. — Dov Davidoff Crime Copy Share Image
Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem? — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
Few things interest me more than the things people don't say. — Dov Davidoff Interest Copy Share Image
