Humor Quotes · Page 494

“Once you've been squashed by a giant, a troll doesn't even seem nearly as heavy.”

— Christopher Healy

“Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Well, I loved variety in television, I loved sketch comedy. At 'Saturday Night Live,' I stayed almost seven years.

— Dana Carvey

“With true love, you can move mountains, make unusual sacrifices, live a life of deprivations and still be happy.”

— Janvier Chouteu-Chando

“They probably have me up on a poster by now. Warning: this girl is emotionally unstable. Do not allow near hot beverages.”

— Abby McDonald

Is it just my imagination or are there a lot of Psychotic people in here?

— Rock Cowles

I have a good sense of humor. I think everything we do should have whimsy in it.

— Judith Leiber

A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty saying are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a…

— Anonymous

“Emilio appeared with wine before Cal could say anything, and Min beamed at him, grateful for the rescue. "Emilio, my darling. I…

— Jennifer Crusie

I'm not a racist. It's really case by case; it's not ethnicity specific. It's just the way I react to things that…

— Marc Maron

The mathematician who after seeing Phedre asked: 'Qu'est que ca prouve?' was not such a fool as he has been generally made…

— W. Somerset Maugham

Comedy really is my bread and butter, even when I'm doing a serious character, with the exception of Outcast. I have found…

— Brent Spiner

I'm not a comedian so I'll probably get crucified for saying this, but I think with a lot of comedy the impetus…

— Justin Timberlake

Comedy can be destructive, and still very, very funny. But if I can do something that is fun to watch and critical…

— Bob Odenkirk

“She paused and the looked at Decebel 'except you. You might as well put on a tuu, a tiara, and carry a…

— Quinn Loftis

“Vince and I had reached the point where there was nothing else we could think of to do with the taco wrapper,…

— Jeff Lindsay

There are things in low comedy that make people uncomfortable, and there are things in high comedy that make people bored.

— Lorne Michaels

“I'm not trouble at all. I'm just a guy trying to get a girl to give him the time of day. I'm…

— Hailey Abbott

Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican.

— Bob Hope

“All love is socioeconomic. It’s the gradients in status that make arousal possible.”

— Gary Shteyngart

Unfortunately this is where comedy works, where people are the most miserable.

— Doug Stanhope

I think comedy is a genre that has a lot of potential. It is a very content-driven film genre.

— Kartik Aaryan

Life is really very fantastic, and one has to have a peculiar sense of humour to see the fun of it. [Virtue]

— W. Somerset Maugham

“There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident”

— Josh Stern

“It's impossible to walk through solid rock... You have to walk between the molecules that make up the rock.”

— J.M. Dattilo

Thanks to Halloween... the cobwebs in our house have just become decorations!

— Rick Sutter

“They called themselves "The Febs," which was an acronym for "Four-eyed Bastards.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous.

— Noel Fielding

“What do you want from me, Maggie? Advice? Absolution? Go forth and be a bitch no more.”

— Molly Harper

“There is a difference between looking stupid and been actually stupid!”

— Emmanuel Serenity

“I don't respect thinking that is dangerous, prejudicial, childish, and could get me killed.”

— Bill Maher

Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.

— Shahrukh Khan

Two best secrets to keep relationships strong:whenever you are wrong,always admit it and whenever you are right,just keep quiet.

— Bakare

Telling someone why you love them is like trying to explain what water tastes like.

— Julia Klassen

Comedy is a very big part of the English culture, the sense of humor; it's a very dominant trait.

— Kate Bush

Being in comedy you don't get any chance to be bored. You have a fun-filled day and at the same time enjoy…

— Kiku Sharda

If a girl doesn't have a sense of humor, then what would you have to talk about?

— Josh Hartnett

“Amazing how a confluence of praise and lust can just make your defensive barriers collapse like Jell-O on a hot stove”

— Dan Skinner

“Yes, one of the benefits of being embarrassingly rich is that you find out if you have syphilis much earlier than the…

— Abigail Barnette

“And then - thwack! - Anne had brought her slate down on Gilbert's head and cracked it - slate not head -…

— L.M. Montgomery