Learn to thrill yourself... Make everything bright and beautiful about you. Cultivate a spirit of humor. Enjoy the sunshine. — Baird T. Spalding Copy Share Image
“So, let me guess. You want me to give you flea baths?” They all wagged their tails excitedly at the idea.” — Jody Morse Copy Share Image
“When single you are,” Roger said, imitating Yoda dispensing advice to Luke, “get laid you can. When married you get, make love… — Sean Kennedy Copy Share Image
Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
“You need to own your feelings. Get more comfortable expressing yourself." "How about I express you out the nearest window?” — Greg Cox Copy Share Image
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
“No men who really think deeply about women retain a high opinion of them” — Otto Weininger Copy Share Image
“At 5.45 a.m. the important scientists finished their coffee and played rock paper scissors to see who had to phone the government.” — Mitch Benn Copy Share Image
I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It's like, "Is this a funny… — Kanye West Copy Share Image
“I told you it was easy,” HARV said. “True, but you say that about everything.” “That's because everything is easy for me.”… — John Zakour Copy Share Image
“Meg allowed the Hunters to grab her and Peaches. Then the Hunters slapped some sort of mechanisms on the sides of their… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
I started in the club route. I did the alternative scene later on. When I lived in New York, I did the… — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
“Dilemma? Let him have his way with something simple, or keep getting my way and him torture me later? Hmmm. I guess… — J.A. Redmerski Copy Share Image
I think that different pleasures work for different readers - a friend of mine won't read anything that's not a cardiovascular sort… — Karen Russell Copy Share Image
Humor and laughter are not necessarily the same thing. Humor permits us to see into life from a fresh and gracious perspective.… — Joan D. Chittister Copy Share Image
“„...And he doesn't like you to call him Mr. McStabby, you know." "Have you ever seen him cutting up that meat? He… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
“Agatha - You're somewhat odd. You know that, don't you? Felicia - I'll take that as a compliment. Agatha - It wasn't… — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
“I'm considering writing a self-help book and giving people 20 cents to read it. This way, I can be sure they all… — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
You can perceive life as tragic, or you can laugh at the tragedy of it and that turns it into comedy. It… — Harold Ramis Copy Share Image
I've always found it easy to write comedy in the area where people have strong emotions. — Jesse Armstrong Copy Share Image
“He wasn't aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn't smile he didn't look… — Emma Goldrick Copy Share Image
Last year the vet told me my dog was getting old and I should put her down so I started calling her… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“One bad apple doesn't necessarily spoil the bunch,but it might make you consider oranges” — Prentiss Upmost Harris Copy Share Image
“You shouldn't be wandering around in such a big city all by yourself. Even if it is Seattle.” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“It's time to shop high heels if your fiance kisses you on the forehead.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
“I have often noticed that people who routinely wear sportswear are the least likely sort to participate in athletic activity.” — Gail Honeyman Copy Share Image
A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
'Tangerine' taught me that if you win an audience over with comedy, then hopefully have a soulful message at the same time. — Sean Baker Copy Share Image
You can't teach a person to be funny unless you teach him how to swipe someone else's material. To be a success… — Soupy Sales Copy Share Image
Men were born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in them. There's no… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In terms of what influenced me, I grew up on The Beatles, and I always was struck by their dry British sense… — Kyle Gass Copy Share Image
If there's anything I hate it's the word humorist-I feel like countering with the word seriousist. — Peter De Vries Copy Share Image
I feel like we can prove in real time the old trope that comedy is tragedy plus time. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
“- You are exceedingly annoying. - Thank you. - It was not a compliment.” — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I kind of want to be in a comedy movie, or maybe something like 'Star Wars.' — Jacob Tremblay Copy Share Image
If you can't afford to give something away, you don't own it, it owns you. If you can't afford to sell it,… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
There are all kinds of humor and I have largely indulged in clean comedy. — Kiku Sharda Copy Share Image
