Graduation Speech: I'd like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste… — Steve Weinburg Copy Share Image
Keep a sense of humor, that keeps you balanced, and you'll do quite well with it all, I'm sure. — Frederick Lenz Copy Share Image
If Disney still wants to make Epcot Center futuristic, they could do so by blowing the place up with an atom bomb. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't think there's anything more scary than being forced into doing stand-up comedy. — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
“He’s always overly dressed which makes him look stiff – like he wants to do taxes, not women.” — Jonas Eriksson Copy Share Image
There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“He had deduced also that I was quirky and promised me that he was too.” — Olivia Sudjic Copy Share Image
You don't really have to say much when your headline is 'Drag Queen Robs Burger King.' Sometimes comedy writes itself. — Willie Geist Copy Share Image
You need to talk about sex with a sense of humor, especially because sex is a sensitive area for a lot of… — Paige Turco Copy Share Image
“I am wearing an old yellow sundress of Celia's, and I have tied my hair back with green ribbon. I think I… — Jenny Han Copy Share Image
Maybe there's a chance to get back to grown-up films. Anything that uses humor and dramatic values to deal with human emotions… — Robert Altman Copy Share Image
I suppose I grew up wishing I was an American Jew for the comedy and the one-liners...actress who does a Holocaust movie… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
“It felt wrong to cut him off. But I could only take so much heavy breathing before inappropriate thoughts involving whip cream… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
I would love to play a normal human being with a little bit of a comedic bend that had a love interest.… — Reggie Lee Copy Share Image
“The art teacher's scarlet book was called Story of the Eye by Georges Bataille. 'As the title suggests,' Mr Dunwoody saw the… — David Mitchell Copy Share Image
“He humphed and grabbed a carton of milk, then chugged directly from the cardboard spout. Mallory and I watched him, the same… — Chloe Neill Copy Share Image
“Things like, Brothers and sisters! Saving money! Setting the table! True love... ... I MEAN! Foods you don't like!” — Marcy Heisler Copy Share Image
A really good stand-up comic is a poet; it's about the use of language. It can be really poetic. And I like… — Sherman Alexie Copy Share Image
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. — Max Irons Copy Share Image
The most exercise you get is running your mouth, jumping to conclusions, and pushing your luck. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awesome moment when you have no liabilities, expectations and jealous-es 'cause you don't have a BOYFRIEND. — Jhoni13 Copy Share Image
Sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for...So wait for me, I will be right back! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“That’s what being alive is, Thing! It’s being badly prepared for everything! Because you only get one chance, Thing!” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
In the 'Hurt Locker' there's a lot of me in there, a sense of humor, a man of few words and a… — Jeremy Renner Copy Share Image
It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy. — Larry David Copy Share Image
“A Corsai, a Malchai, and a Sunai walk into a bar— Everyone groaned, including August.” — Victoria Schwab Copy Share Image
Comedy is free therapy. And if it's done well, the audience and the comic take turns being the doctor as well as… — Maysoon Zayid Copy Share Image
The cleverest character in comedy is the clown, for he who would make people take him for a fool, must not be… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“She meant to write: "Is Christy here yet?" Auto Correct turned it into: "Is crazy here yet?" For once Auto Correct got… — Christy Hall Copy Share Image
My grandfather can barely even hear, and Chevy Chase makes a face, and he laughs. — Gillian Jacobs Copy Share Image
The liveliest effusions of wit and humour are simply what the reader of a novel has a right to expect. — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
“There are many aspects to yourself. Which ones we reveal to ourselves is entirely up to us. To reveal this is a… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
Never make a joke or try for humor at someone else's expense. In a high-stakes environment, everyone needs to feel safe. — Alan Mulally Copy Share Image
The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor. — Candace Bushnell Copy Share Image
“There’s no accounting for the opinions of old ladies. They think everyone is cute.” — Shannon Wiersbitzky Copy Share Image
I once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway. he said, "I don't know, no one has ever made… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Tony Taylor was one of the first acquisitions that the Phillies made when they reconstructed their team. They got him from Philadelphia. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
“May a man live well-, and long-enough, to leave many joyful widows behind him.” — Roman Payne Copy Share Image
I tried to be a rapper. I tried to make beats before I got into comedy, and that's still one of my… — Jimmy O. Yang Copy Share Image
“My love is sticky, like glue. I'd kill a horse just to give you some. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
