Humor Quotes · Page 452

I always say to Blake Griffin that he has a better comedy career than I do.

— Neal Brennan

What you end up with is outrageousness without the laugh - comedy as electro shock therapy.

— Lenny Bruce

Cultivate your sense of humour. On life's journey from nappy rash to denture adhesive, humour is a great pain reliever.

— James Simpson

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty. Imelda Marcos

— Imelda Marcos

Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?

— Groucho Marx

“You can’t make it to God without interacting with the devil. 'The Adventures of Catrine and the Devil II”

— Stephan Attia

There is a strong ethical dimension to the best comedy. Not only does it avoid reinforcing prejudices, it actively challenges them.

— Steve Coogan

“He tasted all minty and fresh, and lord knows I had to have tasted all rotten, full of hate and frustration.”

— Ethan Day

“Life lesson 3, If someone of the same gender says something like, "Silly Willy", or "ohhohyou stop that big boy/little lady", all…

— John Hankins

“Are you having fun playing with those plastic 3-D models of ears, noses and throats? That’s kind of like what I do,…

— Colin Nissan

I'd probably describe my sense of humor as 'twisted,' I guess. It's not hard to make me laugh, especially when I'm surrounded…

— Mac DeMarco

“Furthermore, there's marshland on the other side of these hills. No one can even live near it, because the mist produces ill…

— Karen Hawkins

I love humor in writing, so I've written to the thing that's funny, there's the joke, but then I just kept going.…

— Jess Walter

“ [Home Economics Textbook from 1950] : "Make [your husband] comfortable. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak…

— Celia Rivenbark

“Is that dog shit on the bottom of your shoe?’ I sat up a fraction. ‘What?’ ‘Is that dog shit on the…

— Bill Bryson

Through certain humors or passions, and from temper merely, a man may be completely miserable, let his outward circumstances be ever so…

— Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 7th Earl of Shaftesbury

“Well," she said, "I see it hasn't got a fuck of a lot better since I was away.”

— Alastair Reynolds

I have never believed much in luck, and my sense of humor has tended to walk on the dark side.

— Hunter S. Thompson

I use Google to check if I have internet connection more than I use Google to Google.

— Anonymous

“Unrequited love is a billion times less intolerable than unrequited hate.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

See, the problem is that God gave men a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a…

— Robin Williams

With comedy, I like to not rehearse and just have fun with it, because I think being spontaneous is the best thing…

— Diora Baird

“The Park's nice,' his father conceded, 'but the rest of the country is just people in huge cars wondering what to eat…

— Edward St. Aubyn

“Captain," the canoeist named Eric began, taking a step forward. "Have we been Bermuda triangulated?”

— Talia R. Blackwood

“Oh get over yourself, so you can kill people, I could shoot you in your face if I wanted to, anyone can…

— Holly Hood

Faith in the face of disappointment is only enhanced by laughter in the face of pain.

— Marc Maron

“We're needed to save an innocent barrel of wine from a lecherous duke's son.”

— Alethea Kontis

“My mother’s father was just called “The Governor,” or “Himself.” Which, if you have sixteen kids, probably isn’t as crazy as it…

— Kathy Griffin

“You have two eyes, and two ears, but only one mouth. This is so because you are supposed to look and listen…

— Lucca Kaldahl

I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to…

— Matt LeBlanc

“These folks zigged when the rest of the world zagged. And once you cross the line, there's no coming back. Mark my…

— Jack Gantos

“Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job, or the medication whose main function was to postpone it.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I think everyone is born with humor, but your life can beat it out of you, sadly, or you can be lucky…

— Catherine O'Hara

Spies have the same kinds of needs and desires that everybody does, which is funny. The best kind of comedy derives from…

— Matt Nix

I know I can never work in a comedy because I can't keep a goddamn straight face.

— Evangeline Lilly

To me, 'Scream' is a masterpiece on every level - the performances, the humor, the tone - it's just flawless.

— Marley Shelton

I'm never gonna be mature. These days that means being boring and losing your sense of humor.

— Anonymous

“Good things come in small packages. Shopping isn't a good thing, so be ready to carry big packages!”

— Shubham Choudhary

They laughed. Things were funny. They weren't afraid to care. There was no sense to life, to the structure of things.

— Charles Bukowski

“A reasonable looking guy with a sense of humour to go to parties with: surely that´s not too much to ask, is…

— Nick Alexander