“I picked up a rare disease called conscience" … "That can often turn fatal.” — Alfred Bester Copy Share Image
Comedy is such a personal thing. Everybody can cry at the same thing, but it's a lot harder to get everyone to… — Colin Mochrie Copy Share Image
“I want to make sure I remember what real ugly is. I might want to tell my grandchildren someday.” — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“Never bring a knife to a gun fight," I tell Mr. Crispy as I turn away from him. His right arm thinks… — Charles Stross Copy Share Image
Short people have long faces, and long people have short faces. Big people have little humor, and little people have no humor… — Donald O'Connor Copy Share Image
“Are the two of you quite done with your sweet nothings? Because I might vomit.” — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner." — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Reminiscing is when one is thinking about the past. What you are dreaming about never happened. The word for that is fantasizing.” — Wesley Chu Copy Share Image
“Really, the only people you should be comparing yourself to would be people who make you feel better by comparison. For instance,… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
I take my fun very seriously, whether it's playing the drums or acting in comedy bits. The need to be disciplined about… — Max Weinberg Copy Share Image
“What's a feminist?" Julie asked. "Someone who thinks women are fish," Barton replied. He was smiling at Lily. "And that men are… — Dianne Dixon Copy Share Image
“Professor Longbottom only assigned us to write about spynuswort because it’s one of the three most useful plants in the magical world.… — G. Norman Lippert Copy Share Image
If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Are you going to rape me at any point or anything?" I just figured it was good to get things out in… — Domashita Romero Copy Share Image
“I can see how I could write a bold account of myself as a passionate man who rose from humble beginnings to… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I dont want to win? If that were the case why the heck am I on the bus 16 hours a day,… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
I'm not sure a lot of us in the music business or in rock 'n' roll are given credit for irony or… — Terence Trent D'Arby Copy Share Image
“I can't believe I'm about to drink with my father- this is wrong on so many levels.” — Wendy Higgins Copy Share Image
Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
“Moujiks. Right. What's a moujik?" the Tsar asked. "Peasants, your majesty." "Pheasants?" "No! Peasants.” — Eric Metaxas Copy Share Image
They say Im demonic in humor in the sense that I think people need somebody to wake up their mental processes. — Kenneth Williams Copy Share Image
“DEL MOMENTO EN EL QUE MÁS CERCA HA ESTADO DE MÍ SOLO HA SACADO UNA HOSTIA. HOY HA VUELTO A HABER LEÑA…… — Julio Muñoz Gijón Copy Share Image
“Pat Robertson would be harmless comedy, were he less typical of those who today hold power and influence in the United States.” — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
I always say, 'If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.' I couldn't be happier with where I ended… — Brett Young Copy Share Image
“Why were all his fantasies so calamitous for that table, which had done him no injury?” — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
Laugh at your worries and insecurities. View your anxieties with humor. It will be difficult at first, but you'll gradually get used… — Paulo Coelho Copy Share Image
“As a wise Pug once said, all you need is love, kibble and a de-worming tablet every three to six months.” — Gemma Correll Copy Share Image
Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to… — Rashida Jones Copy Share Image
WHEN YOU GOING THROUGH SOMETHING YOU CANT SEE HOW FUNNY ITS GONNA BE LATER SO LAUGH NOW!! — LEONARD PAUL ROSE Copy Share Image
“I suggest it’s time we head off to see the Wizard. The wonderful Wizard of Jesus We Are All So Fucked.” — Mira Grant Copy Share Image
“I had no desire to hear another woman tell my boyfriend how hot he was. If I wanted him to know, I'd… — Rachel Vincent Copy Share Image
People have a sense of humor, even if it's not a good one, and everybody has stakes. — John Krasinski Copy Share Image
Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“In spite of all the red flags and signs that Marc had more baggage than Imelda Marcos taking shoes on vacation, I… — Cierra Rantoul Copy Share Image
Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter." ( Letter 16 , 1657)” — Blaise Pascal Copy Share Image
Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“Forget I ever referred to my mother and screwing in the same sentence. That's just … wrong. On so many levels.” — Emma Chase Copy Share Image
“I've taken up meditation. I like to have an espresso first to make it more challenging.” — Betsy Salkind Copy Share Image
![“I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that.” quote by Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d5/craig-ferguson-664_believe_i-know-the-fashion-is-that-everything-is_2753867.png)
