“Today, like any other day, is totally incomprehensible. It's good to be in a state of wonder and be alive to what's… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
Working in comedy can be grind; there are so many guys and it's kind of a boyish lifestyle. — Esther Povitsky Copy Share Image
A big part of my schtick in my live comedy is doing earnest R&B ballads. — Jamie Demetriou Copy Share Image
“Darling! Had they darlinged each other when they were here? I imagined them, magnificent on horseback, tossing darlings to and fro.” — Franny Billingsley Copy Share Image
The sound of laughter is like the vaulted dome of a temple of happiness. — Milan Kundera Copy Share Image
“...ducks and geese are foolish things, and must be looked after, but girls can take care of themselves.” — Washington Irving Copy Share Image
I came home real late and my wife says you come home this late again and I'll cut off something you love.… — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
“Did you let him know that if he can't see fit to return your blow job immediately, you will have no choice… — Meg Cabot Copy Share Image
“An aged monk led me to the infirmary. "He's got the place to himself. Once the other invalids learned there was a… — Rachel Hartman Copy Share Image
She got really mad a month ago, because she had e-mailed me a naked picture of herself - which is a nice… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
“Hell was grey. Dim and lifeless... I felt numb and in pain at the same time and that was not supposed to… — J.M. Redmann Copy Share Image
“I knew it! I knew it! ” “Are we allowed to speak yet?” said Ron grumpily. Hermione ignored him. “Nicolas Flamel,” she… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
There's an audience out there for all these different types of things. Whether it's comedy, motion-picture drama, family movie or a cool,… — Ralph Macchio Copy Share Image
I think my comedy's probably the same as my art, which is kind of abstract, impressionist, emotional. You create an emotion and… — Vic Reeves Copy Share Image
“You staked a vampire with a number two pencil." "I didn't actually check the number." - Shane Collins and Claire Danvers from… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
I enjoy doing drama, and I enjoy doing comedy equally. They're both amazing to me, and it's such an honor to be… — Alison Brie Copy Share Image
“If you are allergic to something, it is best not to put that something in your mouth. Especially if that something is… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I’ve got a tip.” “Me, too. Let a smile be your umbrella and you’re gonna get your dumb ass wet.” — J.D. Robb Copy Share Image
“Then it was just the two of us. Me and Captain Hetero of the Straight Brigade.” — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The only way I can make a Jim Carrey face is through Novocain at the dentists office. — Sasha Azevedo Copy Share Image
“If you put your hand in my pocket, you’ll drag back six inches of bloody stump.” — Harlan Ellison Copy Share Image
A perfect method of adding drama to life is to wait until the deadline looms large. — Alyce Cornyn-Selby Copy Share Image
“Your LIFE is a PUZZLE, don’t waste your time trying to place people where they don’t fit” — Thabang Gideon Magaola Copy Share Image
I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
I am a comedian. You may or may not find me funny, but the fact remains, that I am a comedian. — Sarah Millican Copy Share Image
I think my strength as a performer is my ability to straddle the fence between comedy and tragedy. — Mariette Hartley Copy Share Image
“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
Give the American people a good cause, and there's nothing they can't lick. — John Wayne Copy Share Image
Back in the day, When we had stress we got a bottle of Jack and dealt with it… Now a days all… — The Old Man (pawn Stars Copy Share Image
Purpose and laughter are the twins that must not separate. Each is empty without the other. — Robert K. Greenleaf Copy Share Image
At the top of the list of what makes a successful marriage, is a sense of humor. — Deborah Kerr Copy Share Image
We spend the first half of our lives trying to grow up and the other half trying to figure out how we… — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
“The van stank of cabbage and cornered like a drunken elephant. It would do.” — Kate Griffin Copy Share Image
“We must have been very very bad in our last lives, cos karma's busy making macramé with us.” — Poppet Copy Share Image
“Jake fried up the fish, cooked rice with garlic, cilantro and green onions. Someday he was going to make some woman a… — Josh Lanyon Copy Share Image
“Milord, Knight in Shining Armor, methinks thou hast a present in thy chamber.” — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
“Laughing at your pettiness probably works better than scolding yourself for it.” — Sharon Salzberg Copy Share Image
It's hard for a man to turn down sex... if they chase us, we can't run that fast. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
