Humor Quotes · Page 437

“Twelve days wil be heaps of time. You don't want to over-reherse these things, otherwise you lose that rough edge”

— Michael Gerard Bauer

If there's an audience, I think they're going to expect me to be funny. But what if I'm not funny? What if…

— Gene Wilder

I enjoy doing all kinds of roles, but I don't want to be restricted to comedy alone.

— Paresh Rawal

“Just be careful that your determination doesn’t turn into your fanaticism.”

— Art Hochberg

“Rune: "They're getting away!" Thatz: "Our Dragon Knights honor is at stake! Let's get 'em!" Rath: "'Dragon Knights honor'? Really?”

— Mineko Ohkami

“How come you're always calling that TV weather guy? Yeah you're obsessed with him!”

— Lincoln Peirce

“I didn't want to go to hell, but even the idea of reclaining my halo scared me because it would mean leaving…

— Terri Clark

I really like comedy, and making people laugh is one of the few pleasures of being alive. It's a gift - that's…

— Janelle James

Beautiful women must think about their beauty as capitalists think about their investments or politicians about their majorities; it is all they…

— Cyril Connolly

Fortunately, we have writers who very much respect the classic characters and the integrity of the classic characters, that are also terrific…

— Bob Bergen

“Were you backing it up on the fridge?” [Jet] “I was…uh…was…removing smudges with my butt. Did you forget something?” [Shawna] “My laptop.…

— Robin Alexander

“But I could never see what was so awful and wrong about being honest. And I didn’t think it had anything to…

— Josie Bloss

I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action…

— Bill Hicks

“The marketing people are always talking about something called 'consumers'. I have this image of a fat little man in baggy Bermuda…

— Robert James Waller

I used to write bits and pieces of comedy material for various comics that were at the Windmill... as well as my…

— Val Guest

Because humor brings us back to earth, it helps us to use well what is left to us even when we are…

— Kathleen R Fischer

I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

— Bill Bailey

“There's never a good time to tell someone that you don't really exist.”

— Philip Ardagh

“Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?”

— Woody Allen

I look for kindness, honestly, integrity, intelligence, humor and good values, and of course, a fun, loving guy! And yes, I believe…

— Shamita Shetty

“You know more useless crap, St. Clair. Good thing you're so darn cute," Josh says.”

— Stephanie Perkins

The essence of humour is surprise; that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch.

— A. P. Herbert

I think we need not only to eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class, I think we should knock down the tollbooth.

— George W. Bush

“My boyfriend likes to fuck my brains out on our kitchen island. Which tile would you recommend for that?”

— Alice Clayton

Not all horror fans love Evil Dead because of the humor, at least not me.

— Fede Alvarez

“Don't you think men overrate the necessity for humoring everybody's nonsense, till they get despised by the very fools they humor?”

— George Eliot

“Say yes, Jordan,” he said, shifting closer. “No,” I said. Owen smiled. “Close enough.” And then he kissed me.”

— Eli Easton

“I’m not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.”

— Nicki Elson

“She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That’s life. That’s love. That’s fiscally…

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I compare Stephen Sondheim with humor, because humor is unanalyzable. You can't analyze humor. You just have to get through it.

— Elaine Stritch

Ponder, your comedies are woeful chaff: Write tragedies, when you would make us laugh.

— Horace Walpole

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.

— Steven Wright

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of…

— Alan King

“She's not always bad, but she can be so strict. You use her bra once as a sling shot and she holds…

— Ottilie Weber

I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor.

— Michael Buble

I'll let you in on a secret: I can't stand Jay Ward. I hate being compared to Rocky and Bullwinkle. It's just…

— John Kricfalusi

“I have a theory that sometimes people think they need to talk as much as possible, almost as if talking more equates…

— Mary Mihalic

“Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once”

— Steve Aylett

The more Keystone comedies I make, the more convinced I become that comedy is an art, and a high one at that.

— Mack Sennett

“Each night I lie awake and stare up at the stars and think, what the hell happened to my ceiling.”

— Robert Paul