Humor Quotes · Page 413

You do a movie and, even if it's not a comedy or it's not an action film, you get a little taste…

— Ashley Greene

“The cost of living is going up while the chances of living are going down.”

— Flip Wilson

“Man could be utterly beastly at times and his humour abysmally dark, morbid and demoniac. - Page 105, Blue Jeans”

— Manisha Saxena

“It is never a bad thing to take up your fair share of space," said Mr. Bunny ambiguously.”

— Polly Horvath

I didn't make you look fat, not pushing yourself away from the table made you look fat.

— Rock Cowles Caricaturist

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet.…

— George Carlin

I want to do a black comedy with Homi Adajania and also want to work with Vishal Bhardwaj, Imtiaz Ali and Anurag…

— Kirron Kher

“I swear to Go, if I see one of you girls anywhere near us, I'll have your prospective spouses whip you, fifties-style.”

— Amelie Fisher

It's kind of a camaraderie in the comedy community, people are kind of proud of how badly they go down sometimes, and…

— Amy Hoggart

In Italy, for the same price as a typical British hamburger meal including sweet, a builder's labourer could eat like a king…

— Clive James

“It's all well and good to have profound thoughts on a regular basis, but I think it's not enough. Well, I mean:…

— Muriel Barbery

Comedy is so subjective. You could be in a room with 400 people laughing at a joke and you could just not…

— Todd Phillips

“It’s all true.” Venom’s hair lifted up in the wind coming through his open window, his profile so astonishingly perfect that her…

— Nalini Singh

I think you're intelligent and charming, and that you're a person with a kind heart. I know that when you want to,…

— Nicholas Sparks

I like cottage cheese. That's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile…

— Mitch Hedberg

But that hair? That is comedy entrapment. People are not attacking your hair, they are defending themselves from something that appears like…

— Jon Stewart

Doing drama is, in a sense, easier. In doing comedy, if you don't get that laugh, there's something wrong.

— Betty White

Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.

— Bill Hicks

Vellimoonga' has been a game-changer and I have handled comedy in almost all the films I did after that.

— Biju Menon

“Ah, James, our James," she says, sounding wistful. "Can't live with him, can't kill him slowly enough." - Callie (pg. 141)”

— Cody McFadyen

Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist.

— Sarah Silverman

I'd love to be able to do a comedy like 'Dr. Strangelove.' I'm not a very serious person. Really, I'm very silly.

— Denis Villeneuve

“Why go for something cold and dead, when you can have something hot and panting?”

— K.R. Smith

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.

— Steve Martin

There is so much competition and content floating around right now, so comedy has to have a lot quirk and heart.

— Varun Sharma

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

— Steve Martin

“I'm not sure I've turned your Commander inside out, but I can assure you if that iron skillet was empty, I would…

— Julia Mills

I can cry at the drop of the pin. But comedy is hard for me; it's the timing.

— Moira Kelly

This global recession has had a detrimental effect on my sex life. It's ages since I've been able to afford it.

— Anonymous

I don't tolerate stupidity well although I am more than capable of it myself. Wait, what?

— Rock Cowles

Among my friends, I'm not a little Boy Scout, and they love my humor, thank God.

— Don Rickles

The subconscious mind has no sense of humor and people often joke themselves into unhappy experiences.

— Florence Scovel Shinn

Elvis was a symbol of the country's vitality, rebelliousness, and good humor.

— Jimmy Carter

Thanks to people like Lenny Bruce and George Carlin, it's real freedom to do stand-up comedy.

— Simon Amstell

I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.

— John Mortimer

My granddad doesn't care if he falls down when he's singing, he's just having a laugh.

— Jay Sean

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

— Adam Ferrara

Only laughter can blow [a colossal humbug] to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

— Mark Twain

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

— Kristen Schaal

“Why save the planet in a politically correct hybrid if you can rule the road in a Chelsea tractor?”

— Aga Lesiewicz