Humor Quotes · Page 414

People just associate me with comedy - not that I mind. I don't mind that at all.

— Scott Adsit

I don't think you're dying," I said. "I think you've just got a touch of cancer. He smiled. Gallows humor.

— John Green

“If you continually show mercy to a recurrent provoker; your mercy will continue to less and less till you become merciless.”

— Vincent Okay Nwachukwu

I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get…

— Dolly Parton

I was this extremely dramatic actress. And then, suddenly, I was doing comedy.

— Carol Kane

“Don't let your teeth make you lose respect by permanently keeping them opened for the sake of being friendly.”

— Michael Bassey Johnson

“As soon as I hear the words 'your room' my mind leans over and whisper-hisses, “This boy has lost his mind. We…

— Belle Aurora

To people who don't get what we do, I say I create entertainment and comedy videos on YouTube - and they usually…

— Joe Sugg

I've always prided myself on being able to perform in the "alt-comedy" zone, but also being able to do comedy for people…

— Christian Finnegan

I think I was drawn to comedy originally because when I was really young, by the time I was eight I had…

— Emma Stone

The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be…

— Jim Rohn

“The man reached into his coat and pulled out a wallet containing an ID card. "Agent Dwight, FBI. Miss Baker, I need…

— John Scalzi

“Get real. They’ll try to kill us no matter what. I can find out how to open the files from Mickey. You…

— Dan Ahearn

"Transparent" is a drama slash comedy series that could, in theory, make the Emmy nominations next year in either of those categories…

— David Bianculli

“She trailed after him, admiring the line of his back. He began climbing the stairs, and she sighed with pleasure. Every bit…

— Meljean Brook

Historically, Hollywood comedy has arrived in skinny envelopes. From fence post Buster Keaton to herky-jerky Jerry Lewis to wiry nerve-bundle Woody Allen…

— James Wolcott

“Err, sorry Father Abbot. I tripped y'see. Trod on my Abbot, Father Habit. Oh dear, I mean…”

— Brian Jacques

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

— Oscar Wilde

“...There's an -or- in -whore- because you always have a choice to respect your body and say no.”

— Libba Bray

Even celebrities, most people have a sense of humor. Most of the people we meet who we've done on the show, like…

— Matt Stone

I love doing comedy. Absolutely love it. After 'Wedding Crashers,' people suddenly realized that it was something I could do.

— Jane Seymour

A comedy that is ironic, sometimes bitter, in some cases even dramatic, tragic: This is what Italian comedy is.

— Mario Monicelli

We're so insecure, comedians. 'Did you laugh? Do you think I was funny?'

— Julian Barratt

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

— Dick Clark

I started doing improv comedy in 2007, and I think it was that that gave me the confidence to try doing stand-up!

— Rachel Parris

“Of all the forces in the universe, the hardest to overcome is the force of habit.”

— Terry Pratchett

Dear Facebook, Just wait, one day they'll abandon you as well. Sincerely, Myspace

— Anonymous

Although Kurt Vonnegut may not be considered a humor writer, 'Breakfast of Champions' is one of the funniest books I've ever read.

— Justin Halpern

“Luck was a joke. Even good luck was just bad luck with its hair combed.”

— Stephen King

“I know the drill, Clark. But I'll be gone for four years. Will you just hold me tonight? Just spooning, no forking.”

— Cardeno C

“Intention to pray is even more powerful than physical prayer - but it's good to do both.”

— Art Hochberg

“Why can't I just Google it like everything else?! I hate you public library system!”

— Vera Brosgol

“Ell?" Kate asked. "You okay?" "Yeah, I thought I saw a spider." I shook my fist at Will and scowled. "A big,…

— Courtney Allison Moulton

“First people lose their hair, then their vices, then their motivation. Then a toupee brings it all flowing back.”

— Bauvard

“My need to parent is so much bigger, sometimes, than my children’s need for parenting.”

— Margot Page

“Is a joke truly funny when we laugh at it, or is it merely some aberration of our frontal lobe?”

— Gerald Schroeder

I think I gravitate towards people who express themselves in a simple and funny way.

— John Slattery

“That's your mom, right?" Pathik smiled. "She looks nicer than she did when she was dragging you away the other night.”

— Teri Hall

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

— Demetri Martin

“Nothing closes doors as quickly as constant bad humor, reclamation, whining. Nobody wants to associate themselves with losers.”

— Bangambiki Habyarimana