“People who call themselves divas...you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a cunt.” — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
“Oh, come now, Manon,” Ilyse laughed, “It’s my job to liven things up a bit, too. I can’t let you and your… — Melika Dannese Lux Copy Share Image
“We don’t like it when women get uppity.” “Well,” she said, “that is a bit of a problem, as I am feeling… — Sarah MacLean Copy Share Image
I like to do comedy, but I'll be perfectly honest, I prefer to do drama and more character-driven-based stuff, generally. — Matt Dillon Copy Share Image
“Why hasn't anyone killed him yet?” “Dumb luck,” Wit said. “In that I’m lucky you’re all so dumb.” — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“Whenever you feel the urge to cheat on your diet, think of Channing Tatum being your pool boy ...” — Care Blanchett Copy Share Image
“I swear, sometimes talking to you is like trying to converse with a tree. A very big, very solid, very male tree.” — Julie Ann Walker Copy Share Image
“I don’t like what I don’t understand, and I just don’t get the human race. They do the weirdest fucking stuff. Dress… — Suzanne Wright Copy Share Image
“Here you have learned the theories of life," continued the Headmaster, resuming the thread of his discourse, "but after all, life is… — Heywood Broun Copy Share Image
“Listen, you machine,” he said, “you claim you can synthesize any drink in existence, so why do you keep giving me the… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Legs with attitude.” Kyle’s tone warmed with approval. “Why don’t you bring those beauties over here. I got a spot all ready… — Kelly Oram Copy Share Image
The whole - it's the economy's bad. It's bad for everybody. I have my own comedy club. I opened it three years… — Jon Lovitz Copy Share Image
My parents passed away when I was a teenager, so I had to learn different survival techniques, I think, in comedy. You… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
Written with passion, honesty, humor, and a stubborn, rebellious optimism, Dear Marcus is like nothing I've ever read. When a bullet in… — Shalom Auslander Copy Share Image
At those times I got into... I suppose you call it a rut. I used to do comedy, comedy, comedy and I… — Val Guest Copy Share Image
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. — Agnes Repplier Copy Share Image
Any kind of change in your life creates more material for me, because I say in my act 'It ain't comedy, it's… — John Pinette Copy Share Image
“A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you Saying, 'Damn. We fucked… — Cheyenne McCray Copy Share Image
If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I'd love to do all types of film, not just comedy, although I love comedy. — Malin Akerman Copy Share Image
It is characteristic of all deep human problems that they arenot to be approached without some humor and some bewilderment. — Freeman Dyson Copy Share Image
The person I have admired the most in comedy terms would be Eric Morecambe, who is my total hero. — Dawn French Copy Share Image
“If you wanna live a good life, start thinking positive and start talking positive. Use your brains and mind.” — Reason Makhubela Copy Share Image
“I used a light hand with my makeup because I wanted to look good without looking like a good time.” — Marta Acosta Copy Share Image
“Fuckhead: The name’s MariKETA. Go to hell, The WITCH, doing a creepy spell somewhere right now.” — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“It was a little difficult to take him seriously when he sang along to a song about a woman taking another woman's… — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
“― Abraticezamu! Senha incorreta. ― Abracadabra. Senha incorreta. ― lalala1? ― Oi.” — Filipe Russo Copy Share Image
Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually… — Frank Muir Copy Share Image
“Don’t focus on the pain in the world, focus on what will keep you sane in the world.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out". — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“You there is such a thing as a door," I whispered. "You should try it some time.” — Chanda Hahn Copy Share Image
“If opposites attract why is the church trying so hard to mirror the world?” — Lakesha Ruise Copy Share Image
“Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Plus, I love comic writing. Nothing satisfies me more than finding a funny way to phrase something. — Michael Pollan Copy Share Image
“Invisible guns, huh?" Kenji smirks. "That's cute. I don't think I ever went through that phase.” — Tahereh Mafi Copy Share Image
“Leave already, because I'm on the verge of hypothetically kicking my foot up your ass, and I doubt the pain of it… — Devon Ashley Copy Share Image
I love doing comedy and I love watching comedy... I'm more inclined to go watch a Seth Rogen film than a serious… — Phoebe Tonkin Copy Share Image
“I’m just glad you didn’t die while we were gone,” Brent said. “He’d be so pissed. And you know, you’d be dead.… — Bree Despain Copy Share Image
“That’s just how my brain works: words of wisdom are produced at random intervals, and always in times of great despair.” — Annabel den Dekker Copy Share Image
