Humor Quotes · Page 415

When I was younger, I loved people like Beryl Reid and Irene Handl - really strong actresses who could also do comedy.

— Rebecca Front

“Writer's block' is just a fancy way of saying 'I don't feel like doing any work today.”

— Meagan Spooner

There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it.

— George W. Bush

I can't believe in humorless women. I think there's humor even in everyday tragedy.

— Jean Marsh

I believe everything my psychiatrist tells me it saves me so much thinking on my own.

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.

— Bill Bailey

My father, Leo Henry Brown, really was talented - he could write. He had a gift, and he had a great, sly…

— Angie Dickinson

“When you exclude anything that is improbable, whatever is left, is not as hilarious.”

— Oleg Medvedkov

I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression…

— Parker Posey

“They were going to expel me. Mom convinced them not to... and got them to apologize," Fern said, almost embarrassed. Really?" Eddie…

— Jennifer Anne Kogler

“As Jane Austen once wrote in her diary, "I am not at all in a humor for writing; I must write on…

— Jim Denney

I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but…

— Mitch Hedberg

“Tarryton did so, but not before saying, "I wouldn't be surprised if Billington came up to scratch on this gel." "Billington, Farnsworth,…

— Julia Quinn

“What’s up with your friend?” Dawn asks after a few minutes. I doubt she’s asking about K.T. I follow Dawn’s stare and…

— Erica Cameron

“I sit up straighter and puff out my chest a little bit, unsure why I'm doing so even as I do it.…

— TJ Klune

“Which meant it was time for the centerpiece of the celebration, the reason they were all gathered on Saturday, the weekly episode…

— Brian Holers

Just realized the tooth fairy teaches us to sell our body parts for money!

— Anonymous

“You men deserve whatever rabbit-boiling scenario dating crazy women gets you.”

— Rachel Hollis

My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not.

— Anonymous

“I pat her on the head. "Oh, naive little Kitten. Dear, foolish girl. This cookie is worth all this and more. Sit…

— Jenny Han

People that want it to just be funny should not despair, because there is so much true crazy comedy coming up.

— Mary Steenburgen

That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto-correct is like 'I got nothing, man.'

— Hussein Nishah

“Honey, that man would do anything to keep you. Lie, steal, cheat, kill, clean up after himself, and do laundry.”

— Alisa Sheckley

My bed is a time machine. I lay down for 5 minutes and the next thing I know, its 5 hours later...

— Anonymous

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

— Adam Ferrara

“Nothing can be made idiot proof. Idiot resistant perhaps, but never idiot proof.”

— M.J. Marsh

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't…

— Adam Carolla

Getting into comedy was difficult for my parents to comprehend. I think now they are really proud I stuck to it.

— Yvonne Orji

“My acupuncturist once told me that it doesn't have to hurt to work. She might have meant the needles, but I think…

— Erica Goros

“disclosure: (n.) when they finally tell us everything and nothing changes.”

— Sol Luckman

“Absurdly, I punched it because nothing hurts a jellyfish more, nothing affronts their sense of dignity, than an underwater punch in the…

— David Nicholls

I realized comedy is toughest thing to handle, although I started with theatre and did several stage plays.

— Adithya Menon

“It is really surprising what may be done in the home with a small can of paint, if you aren't careful.”

— Will Cuppy

Most of my comedy writing happens through improvisation on stage; doing it in the moment.

— Marc Maron

Doing comedy is very difficult and if you do it perfectly you can do any kind of roles.

— Brahmanandam

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.

— Anonymous

“A full glass of patience with a pinch of sarcasm is all you need to deal~”

— Tanya Gambhir

We will allow private and religious groups to compete to provide services in every federal, state and local social program.

— George W. Bush

“And what if that news anchor is creepy? He's too smooth, and he has that hairpiece.”

— Leila Howland

The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me.

— Cassandra Clare