I'm often confronted with people being like, 'Ahhh, drama is killing comedy.' It's not, it's a different genre. — Jamie Demetriou Copy Share Image
Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh… — Mrs. Patrick Campbell Copy Share Image
“The one Jack had picked up was clearly of the flower/nature variety if he was vomiting foliage.” — Missouri Dalton Copy Share Image
“But they are murderers, madam! I am afraid of murderers! (Jeffery, the footman in The Pirate Next Door)” — Jennifer Ashley Copy Share Image
“[The building] had been designed by an architect, so it bore little resemblance to any normal structure.” — Gary Corby Copy Share Image
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..." — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Comedy teams are a real hard thing to do. That's why you don't see any of them. — Cheech Marin Copy Share Image
“The massive lump of flesh that has created you, me, and maybe, animals, everything that has life will forever live.” — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
It's a lovely moment when everyone's part of something greater than the sum of its parts. That encapsulates what a comedy gig… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“Beer makes all jokes funny. Beer makes ugly and fat women attractive, which is something ugly women can't do for themselves, because… — Dick Masterson Copy Share Image
There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
“The question is are you okay?” he asked, looking down at her with concern. “That was quite a spill you took.” “I...I’m… — Lindsey Brookes Copy Share Image
“The space is appropriately shoe-boxy and all the shelves are there. I've set them up with a coordinate system, so my program… — Robin Sloan Copy Share Image
I don't know if I'm particularly funny, I mean one of my legs is shorter than the other one, it makes everything… — Robert Pattinson Copy Share Image
“As if reading her mind, he leaned into her again, pupils dark, irises glowing like a forest caught in the last rays… — Dianna Hardy Copy Share Image
Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either.… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“You know your marriage is in trouble when your wife would rather listen to a cackling drug lord than accept your apology.” — Red Tash Copy Share Image
“Rape humor is designed to remind women that they are still not quite equal.” — Roxane Gay Copy Share Image
“Can we just be grateful for beauty & joy, fascination & tolerance, humour & love, nature & grace, and simply release any anger and pains?” — Jay Woodman Copy Share Image
When I'm playing comedy, it is such a crap shoot of what will work and what won't. — Elaine Stritch Copy Share Image
“Ish #303 "It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating.” — Regina Griffin Copy Share Image
“There's ten thousand wyes a hen can get into a gairden, but only the wan wye she can get oot, and it's… — Neil Munro Copy Share Image
“There was a long silence while they sat there staring at each other, a moment that was rudely interrupted by the sound… — Philip Caveney Copy Share Image
“humor is a spiritual journey to see the world in a unique, amusing way.” — Ed Toolis Copy Share Image
“Black and portentous must this humour prove, Unless good counsel may the cause remove.” — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“My boyfriend is named Percocet," I say. "We're very close. I even went to Europe with him last summer.” — E. Lockhart Copy Share Image
“Worry wasn’t an emotion to which he was particularly accustomed—and it worried him.” — Sol Luckman Copy Share Image
“As I pressed the doorbell button it popped off the wall and hung by two colored cords. Obviously it didn’t work, so… — Elle Klass Copy Share Image
Writing a whole series was a crash course in screenwriting, which is a very different muscle to standup comedy writing. — Ronny Chieng Copy Share Image
“Atty’s eyes rested on Darby with all the subtlety of a dog watching his food bowl being filled!” — Tricia Murphy Copy Share Image
My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Humor is a great defense, and an offense too. Usually the recipient isn't too happy about it, but the people around are… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
“Life is all about exploring yourself, discovering yourself and grooming yourself, then you will surely stop negative thinking.” — Ehabib Copy Share Image
Fancy and humour, early and constantly indulged in, may expect an old age overrun with follies. — Isaac Watts Copy Share Image
She has pretentious conversations about art house films. I have pretentious conversations about porno clips. We were doomed from the start … — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
“Son-- "We don't need ladders, we have obsidian, bro." Mommy's thoughts-- "………… …fucking minecraft” — Mel Brown Copy Share Image
I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby. — David Rees Copy Share Image
“Mrs. Palmer is a teacher so naturally I assumed she would never do anything good for me.” — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
Richard Lester is a wonderful director, a great comedy director, of course. — Malcolm McDowell Copy Share Image
![“[The building] had been designed by an architect, so it bore little resemblance to any normal structure.” quote by Gary Corby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d21/gary-corby-63798_architect_the-building-had-been-designed-by-an-arc_2415885.jpg)
