“Conflict of interest. I wanted to date somebody who was less screwed up than me, and she wasn't.” — Jason Krumbine Copy Share Image
“Everything, everything that you experienced up to this point is gone – gone – so go on.” — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
If teachers can't teach every subject, why do students have to Iearn them all? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I wush for his own sake that he'd have a big steaming cup of calm the hell down.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like an English sense of humor: dry, dirty, a little bit off. That's kind of my taste. — Brooklyn Decker Copy Share Image
My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“Marriages can survive without love, but they cannot survive without forgiveness, fortitude, and a good sense of humor.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Why is everyone being all quiet?" the Kid asks. "Are we having a staring contest? If so, you should have told me… — TJ Klune Copy Share Image
“In this dirty minded world, you are either someone's wife or someone's whore. And if you're not either people think there is… — John Irving Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were being hung. I had a sword in one hand and a stool in the… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The problem wasn't that Stephen was a fathead and Virginia was a gossip. It was that Stephen was a driven fathead with… — Jennifer Crusie Copy Share Image
What I'd really like to write is a romantic comedy. This is my favorite kind of movie. I feel almost embarrassed revealing… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
In a girl I look for honesty above all, someone who I can carry on a conversation with, someone who has a… — Erik von Detten Copy Share Image
“Rampant male predator’,” Simon said, shaking his head. “Blatant, Archer.” “Would you prefer ‘alpha male’?” Jeremy asked. “I do occasionally feel the… — M. Chandler Copy Share Image
[Beaches] is a pretty picture and I just liked having somebody like Bette [Mudler] who can be flying in the big comedy… — Garry Marshall Copy Share Image
“Don't kill her now, just when we've gone to all that trouble to rescue her," said Jeffrey.” — Jeanne Birdsall Copy Share Image
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made. — Jean Giraudoux Copy Share Image
“Oh my God, Tanner! Do you really care what kind of underwear he’s got on? Let’s talk about your goddamn outline!” — Christina Lauren Copy Share Image
Life gets so ridiculous, you just have to brush it off like sand and laugh. I think the laughter is good medicine… — Ace Antonio Hall Copy Share Image
“Did the guy who invent the shower cap also invent the fitted bed sheet?” — Gregor Collins Copy Share Image
Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith. — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
“I made this [letter] very long, because I did not have the leisure to make it shorter.” — Blaise Pascal Copy Share Image
“You thought giving a depressed prostitute a copy of Pretty Woman might help?” — Isa K Copy Share Image
Creating a wonderful drama is an art form, while comedy is just entertainment. — Jason Reitman Copy Share Image
“Rats! It's rainy outside, And to be a good fella Invite a smile so wide Nobody needs umbrella!” — Ana Claudia Antunes Copy Share Image
“It is the right of a traveller to vent their frustration at every minor inconvenience by writing of it to their friends.” — Susanna Clarke Copy Share Image
“I have only one complain with my self that i think m i a great thinker but can't do any thing .” — Arun k singh Copy Share Image
“A dirty and mean sense of humor first thing in the morning. I may learn to like you yet.” — Lorelei James Copy Share Image
I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out,… — Larry David Copy Share Image
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I used to think it was clever to confuse comedy with tragedy. Now I wish I could distinguish them. — John le Carre Copy Share Image
A friend will call you an idiot, but a best friend will not only call you one, but act like one with… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The scientific method is nothing more than a system of rules to keep us from lying to each other.” — Ken Norris Copy Share Image
“If you pull some lame-ass 'I'm your father' bullshit, right now, I'm going to lose it.” — Martin Leicht Copy Share Image
“That's where your definition of attachment comes in. I'm in a monogamous relationship with two people.” — Robert Downs Copy Share Image
“I've got two backs, me - and I'm glad! Tits can be . . . mwa, I know, but they're always in… — Martin Amis Copy Share Image
“Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
When I read a script, I have to see the funny, and if I can see it's funny, it helps me to… — Jessica Walter Copy Share Image
“...but I was not very good at hiding my displeasure at mental sleepiness and mediocrity” — Carlene Bauer Copy Share Image
![“[Beaches] is a pretty picture and I just liked having somebody like Bette [Mudler] who can be flying in the big comedy scenes and have her do more like a realistic part.” quote by Garry Marshall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a60/garry-marshall-12551_beach_beaches-is-a-pretty-picture-and-i-just-l_2415925.jpg)
![“I made this [letter] very long, because I did not have the leisure to make it shorter.” quote by Blaise Pascal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/90c/blaise-pascal-167_humor_i-made-this-letter-very-long-because-i-d_1053250.jpg)
