Humor Quotes · Page 345

The internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.

— Anonymous

Onions think that they are ugly because you cry after you get them naked.

— Anonymous

I think that... I would say that sometimes people get afraid of when you're balancing comedy and drama.

— Jim Rash

Ironically, there isn't much comedy film in Britain, which is quite surprising seeing that we're quite good at it.

— Alice Lowe

“Don't you fancy having one of your dresses in the Smithsonian, Shelby?" "Your humor's always been on the odd side, Grant." "Thanks.”

— Nora Roberts

Experimenting with drugs is like target practice where your head is the bull's-eye.

— Michael Josephson

New Year's resolution: To refrain from saying witty, unkind things, unless they are really witty and irreparably damaging.

— James Agate

A sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to our steps as we walk the tightrope of life.

— Anonymous

“You’re an English major, aren't you?” “Hey!” Immediately retreating, Keith swatted at him with a dishcloth. “Leave my brain alone. It’s resting.”…

— Matthew Haldeman-Time

“For God sake, quirky isn't something you date; it's something you make fun of until it totally loses it, runs to its…

— Drew Ferguson

“When I was a young and aspiring speaker, I sought mentorship from a man who had been a Dale Carnegie trainer for…

— Susan C. Young

I understand that being able to appeal to the public and having an amazing sense of humour is not something that comes…

— Kevin Hart

There's an infectiousness to comedy. It's meant to be shared and spread, so I feel like any message that you're talking about…

— Jaboukie Young-White

“Would it hurt him, just once, to do what she wanted and shut up about it? "If I wasn't sure," she snapped,…

— Kendra Leigh Castle

“The man once wrote: Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. Tolkien had…

— Jim Butcher

The real meaning of persona is a mask, such as actors were accustomed to wear on the ancient stage; and it is…

— Arthur Schopenhauer

Ghetto pronunciation: Bathroom = Baafrumm, Refrigerator = Fridgerataa, Remote = Moken Troll

— Anonymous

“Write with your heart, not your head. Brains tend to ooze out of your ears and nose when things get intense. Then…

— Lori Lesko

I always found that drama, really good drama, has a lot of comedy in it.

— Ed O'Neill

Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we…

— Anonymous

Women respond to comfort and a sense of humor. I was always able to make them laugh, so that helps a lot.

— Peter Dinklage

“To be creative is to look Madness in the eye and challenge it to a spitting contest.”

— River Fairchild

I left Indiana, and I ain't been back since. I've been doing comedy and paying my bills.

— Mike Epps

“You know it’s the 21st Century when someone TEXTS you from the washroom to ask you to bring them a roll of…

— Comic Strip Mama

“What I knew for sure was that he had a quick temper, a cocky attitude, and a southern accent... Apparently he also…

— Stacy Mantle

There's comedy even in tragedy. There's comedy in life. And in 'Castle', we go for that comedy.

— Nathan Fillion

As young Americans, you have an important responsibility, which is to become good citizens.

— George W. Bush

“The quickest way to get over something you loved and lost is to get another one.”

— Karen Tenerowicz

Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be gracious if it kills you.

— Elsie de Wolfe

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.

— Chelsea Handler

“You can generally count on a philosopher to ask a question about the question.”

— Kunal K. Das

More than an adult comedy, 'Great Grand Masti' is a naughty horror comedy, more on the lines of 'Masti.'

— Urvashi Rautela

I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor.

— Horatio Nelson

If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it.

— George W. Bush

Cashier: Are you buying these? Me: No, I'm going to steal them, I just wanted to show you first.

— Anonymous

“What's it like?" "Death? It's like being on holiday with a group of Germans.”

— Anonymous

“To me; reading a book is like watching a movie. Once I start, I can't stop until it's over.”

— Anonymous

Humour plays close to the big, hot fire, which is the truth, and the reader feels the heat.

— E. B. White

There are some really funny people doing creative stuff with social media, which is sadly where a lot of my attention goes.

— Scott Rogowsky

I've done comedy, and I've done drama. I've sort of been a journeyman in my career so far.

— Zachary Knighton