I have done comedy on stage so when I got the chance to do it in cinema, I was extremely thrilled. — Atul Kulkarni Copy Share Image
A relationship is meant for two persons only. Unfortunately some bitches don't know how to count — Avalon Copy Share Image
The best time to go to Disney World, if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Yup,” Heather replied. “Some jackass tries to prick me and I’m gonna prick him right back! Leave the bottle, bucko. Save ya… — Jacob D. Lochner Copy Share Image
“I like my coffee like I like myself…making rustling noises inside a burlap bag” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Holy shit. What does that mean? Does he white-slave small children to some God-forsaken part of the planet?” — E.L. James Copy Share Image
“My secret is cool and mysterious like a jagged scar across my chest, and not dull and heavy like I gave up… — J.C. Lillis Copy Share Image
Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. — Yakov Smirnoff Copy Share Image
“Heroic," Crane told Baines contemptuously. "Old women, idiot children, bound men, you'll take on all comers. There's a three-legged stray dog hangs… — K.J. Charles Copy Share Image
“This?” the duchess asked. “Yes. That.” “I will tell you exactly what this is.” She lifted her chin, then turned to Pauline.… — Tessa Dare Copy Share Image
“Cats, I decided, had certain advantages over men. There were loyal without being sycophantic, independent without being absent, and affectionate without being… — Betsy Tobin Copy Share Image
“Q and Beanpole and I giggled at the way our math teacher, Mr. Sung-Li, wore four pencils in his shirt pocket in… — Alan Lawrence Sitomer Copy Share Image
When something is 'new and improved', which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The Comedy Store - all three rooms were filled with 800 people in the room. And during that time, all these guys… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
“Hey, we had fun. In the sense of next to none at all, I mean. Next time, can we at least stop… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
Rowling is a luminous storyteller. I love her sense of humor and the intricate wizarding world she built around Hogwarts. I think… — Samantha Shannon Copy Share Image
“I poured some coffee into a mug that read: “I’m not gay, but my ex-boyfriend is,” compliments of Peyton” — Sandi Lynn Copy Share Image
I say funny stuff in my songs sometimes, but it's still all in the seriousness of the music and the craft. — Rich Brian Copy Share Image
I think my strongest suit is comedy. I certainly have limits in other areas. — Emma Caulfield Copy Share Image
This is certainly the raunchiest, if you use that word, raunchy. The roots of Jim Henson, though, was adult comedy. — Brian Henson Copy Share Image
I consider myself something of a raconteur. I have a rather audacious sense of humour. — Sylvester Stallone Copy Share Image
The stupider the regime the more intelligent the people get and the more humorous. — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
“May your balls rot like fruit in the sun, and your manhood wither at the root!” — Elizabeth Vaughan Copy Share Image
“When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, here is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with… — Matt Goening Copy Share Image
“When your mom was not in labor yelling at me, she made me laugh so hard.” — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
There's a certain kind of guy, a certain kind of humor, that goes with Irish cops and firemen. — Ken Howard Copy Share Image
“What did people do before they could go online and find answers to secret problems? Oh right, they killed themselves” — Davida Wills Hurwin Copy Share Image
“If you plug in a number and the math starts getting creepy (anything involving fractions or negative numbers is creepy)...” — Doug Pierce Copy Share Image
“Mental Note #50: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, even though it most desperately wants to. - Notes from Ellen Wasserfeldman” — Alisa Dana Steinberg Copy Share Image
I think that comedy is one of the more serious things that you can do in our day, especially in the world… — Antonio Banderas Copy Share Image
“Some people wish they were as happy as or happy like some people think they are.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The entire New York comedy scene has moved to L.A. - it's bled the New York comedy scene dry. — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
If you can have heart as well as the comedy, it takes you a lot further. I think that that's what we… — Josh Gad Copy Share Image
“Sicarius wore his usual guess-my-thoughts-if-you-can-mask, though she sensed he did not approve.” — Lindsay Buroker Copy Share Image
What an ornament and safeguard is humor! Far better than wit for a poet and writer. It is a genius itself, and… — Walter Scott Copy Share Image
I like the idea of sort of being able to stick a pin in something and deflate it with humor and just… — Randy Rainbow Copy Share Image
“What's done is done. Cas is alive. A little crispier than before, but he's breathing” — Kendra Blake Copy Share Image
“Yes, it's difficult to ascertain whether he is trying to arouse her or perform a breast exam.” — John Green Copy Share Image
“She's a parasite I can't seem to get rid of. Like a bad case of financial diarrhea.” — Dee Burks Copy Share Image
“The only direction not represented in their construction was vertical.” — Lee Battersby Copy Share Image
