Humor Quotes · Page 298

Humor is not the opposite of seriousness. Humor is the opposite of despair.

— Conrad Hyers

“I do beg your pardon. Let's literally throw up, but figuratively throw down.”

— Kevin Hearne

Did I play my role well? If so, then applause, because the comedy is finished!

— Augustus

“We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, he wouldn't be trusted with a…

— Russell Brand

Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any…

— E. B. White

“You have wondered perhaps, why all real accountants wear hats? They are today’s cowboys”

— David Foster Wallace

“People who are easily offended should live on an island to avoid offenses!”

— Mary Hall-Rayford

The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it.

— George Bernard Shaw

It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a…

— Frank Carson

Ultimately, when I go back to the stage, I want to be able to do everything. I want to be able to…

— Eddie Murphy

“Churchill drank twice what I did if you could believe the accounts and he had just been awarded the Nobel Prize for…

— Ernest Hemingway

I have been definitely influenced more by Latin American writers than by any other type of writer. They are very close in…

— Jessica Hagedorn

“What would people think?' Jesus said that people think all sorts of things. The human mind is like a cloud of gnats.…

— Garrison Keillor

“Deep down, Story Easton knew what would happen if she attempted to off herself—she would fail It was a matter of probability.…

— Elizabeth Leiknes

Humor has been a fashioning instrument in America, cleaving its way through the national life, holding tenaciously to the spread elements of…

— Constance Rourke

“Tacos will grow on Christmas trees before I learn to carry a tune. Fortunately, it doesn’t matter. In karaoke, talent means nada;…

— Rob Sheffield

“I've always felt I deserved a wider audience, so thank you for reading this.”

— Ivana Hruba

I'm not a comedian. I didn't study sketch comedy; my background isn't that.

— Paul Rudd

Seeing the energy of 'SNL' made me want to be a part of it. If that was a job, I thought, that…

— Olivia Wilde

“Oh my God. Oh my God, J.P. is in love with me. And we blew up the school.”

— Meg Cabot

You have to be quite aware that if you are really looking for something funny it is probably not going to happen.

— Richard Herring

Humor is this great equalizer. It gets people's defenses down, and once they're down, you can discuss some really difficult topics.

— Luvvie Ajayi

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

— Adam Carolla

I want to do comedy films, serious films - I admire the actors who fly under the radar but get loads done,…

— Craig Roberts

“Kadang-kadang, kata-kata yang kita ucapkan emang nggak sesuai sama mukamu.”

— Windhy Puspitadewi

I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.

— Steven Wright

“Sweet Katilyn, you called me remember? There's nothing I wouldn't do for you?…”

— Jessica Wennberg

I spent 11 years at 'The Daily Show,' and I learned everything there about how to write funny, how to write funny…

— David Javerbaum

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

— Rita Rudner

“A man who can set out in a cab for a fancy-dress ball and not get there is manifestly a poop of…

— P. G. Wodehouse

Girls want to be with guys who have a sense of humor-it makes them far more attractive to us.

— Drew Barrymore

I believe I was at the peak of my enlightenment when I use to say you want fries with that.

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

“I do not think, Prospero,' he said, 'that one should attribute a very high degree of reality to your house.”

— John Bellairs

I've always been attracted to humor and funny people in general. It's a joy to make people laugh, but it's not as…

— Jennifer Garner

There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.

— Jerry Coleman

Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion.

— Jerry Coleman

“Having writers block sucks more than my actual writing. And my writing would be astonishing if I could write how I feel.”

— Ally Spina

“boys don't like smart girls they like push-around-in-a-cart kinda girls target-for-their-dart kinda girls meat-for-their-shark kinda girls”

— Casey Renee Kiser

Good humor and enthusiasm should be the sunshine ahead that will keep that shadow behind.

— Charles W. Field

part of the humor of living on this backward planet is listening to the hominids rationalize their predations.

— Robert Anton Wilson