I don't tend to watch too many American comedies. I love British comedy. — Danny McBride Copy Share Image
“Who are you?’ Gaia gasped. The girl froze for a moment. Looked at her. Smiled and said, ‘Who am I? I’m the… — Michael Grant Copy Share Image
“Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse.” — James D. Carswell Copy Share Image
Not every man who courts you, loves you. Some are just testing your stupidity! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Children when they ask you why your mama so funny say she is a poet she don't have no sense — Lucille Clifton Copy Share Image
We are trying to communicate a fulfilled ideal. Does anybody remember laughter? — Robert Plant Copy Share Image
“My father laughed it off, saying I was too old not to accept people as they were.” — André Aciman Copy Share Image
“...the day shit is worth money, poor people will be born without an asshole” — Gabriel García Márquez Copy Share Image
“The spell...curled around...like smoke before settling in. Sophie: "Okay, do you guys feel protected?" Archer: "Yes. Also a little violated, but that's… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
Combining music, theater and comedy is a new and broader form of expression. In certain combinations you can make people laugh one… — Aleksey Igudesman Copy Share Image
I really, really, really want to do a silly romantic comedy where I can just have a crush on the guy, trip… — Laurie Holden Copy Share Image
“I want you to tell me something,” I whisper. “What?” “Don’t get mad.” “What is it, Ana?” “You do care.” His eyes… — E.L. James Copy Share Image
“Suddenly, I saw ocean again—then another horizon line—but this time the deep blue sky was on the wrong side of the line…the… — M.A. George Copy Share Image
We, Will Ferrell and I, were approached by Sequoia, which is a big financing firm up in Palo Alto; they do a… — Adam McKay Copy Share Image
When I started out doing comedy, I was still in college and was working day jobs. I taught preschool for a few… — Josh Gondelman Copy Share Image
“I suppose the fundamental distinction between Shakespeare and myself is one of treatment. We get our effects differently. Take the familiar farcical… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Finally- no more ruddy show for the folks back home. No pretending it's all beer and skittles and no one ever gets… — Mercedes Lacky Copy Share Image
“Time travel is awesome…And useful. That sentence had a typo when I typed it...The first time.” — Craig Benzine Copy Share Image
For the girls that tell you all guys are the same, nobody told you to try them all out... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The whimsicalness of our own humor is a thousand times more fickle and unaccountable than what we blame so much in fortune. — Francois de La Rochefoucauld Copy Share Image
I wanted to do comedy because I left Malaysia and went to America. I got bitten by the Western, idealist, opinionated, democracy… — Nigel Ng Copy Share Image
“The term 'Erotic Fiction' is interesting to me. The 'Fiction' part. Cuz right now somewhere in the world it's happening just as… — Gregor Collins Copy Share Image
Ways to her heart: Sweet compliments, funny humor, and getting to know her on a deeper level. — Raghib Clitso Copy Share Image
“No need to take it out on me that you're so wrinkled you have to screw your hat on.” — Suzanne Wright Copy Share Image
I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
Some people say, Never let them see you cry. I say, if youre so mad you could just cry, then cry. It… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“That's right, bitch. Goldie Schwartz. And I'm not a fucking midget. I prefer the term 'fun sized'.” — Jaye Wells Copy Share Image
“IDEA .. if your bored and you miss me you should write some dirty fan fiction about us. you can read it… — Rainbow Rowell Copy Share Image
I think it's time I tell you what people are saying behind your back... Nice ass! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My dad sings, and my mom is the funniest person you'll ever meet. You put them together, and out comes the Feldstein… — Beanie Feldstein Copy Share Image
I just think 'Broad City' - Comedy Central's answer to 'Girls' - is the best thing that's been put on television in… — Mackenzie Davis Copy Share Image
They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“I’m warning you because you’re young and vulnerable. He’s a dirty, lying, conniving piece of shit and he’s dangerous.” Gottfried Baumauer.” — Carla H Krueger Copy Share Image
My first lessons in comedy, how to construct a joke, I learned from Eileen Brennan, who had unbelievable timing. — Rob Lowe Copy Share Image
A jest often decides matters of importance more effectively and happily than seriousness. — Horace Copy Share Image
“What she means is, I might look like a pussy but I'm really a badass demon.” — Jaye Wells Copy Share Image
And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders. — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
Inside every fat person is a thin person struggling to get out. Sometimes as many as two or three. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
“Boredom is probably more frequent and more tormenting if you do not have sight or hands.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
