Humor Quotes · Page 276

Putting a little time aside for clean fun and good humor is very necessary to relieve the tensions of our time.

— Hattie McDaniel

I want to go play a villain or an action hero or a nice, light, romantic comedy or something. That would be…

— Dash Mihok

Nobody tried comedy in horror, and when I tried it ladies came to the theatre.

— Raghava Lawrence

By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn't believe me.

— Hussein Nishah

It's not unexpected for me to be in a comedy film anymore; I'm no longer the underdog in that world.

— Jonah Hill

'The Cosby Show' made an impact on comedy, television and culture. We rejected lowering the bar.

— Bill Cosby

“Don't be stupid. You sound like his girlfriend. - Wesley Jefferson Lincoln”

— Kami Garcia

“...I looked at the place with my heart beating as I had known it to do in the dentist's parlor.”

— Henry James

I always think it's just best to just make stuff and to carry on making stuff, even if it's not off your…

— Alice Lowe

“At sixteen, he was cursed with all the certainty of youth, unleavened by any trace of humor or self-doubt, and wed to…

— George R. R. Martin

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth . . . Then he said, "Let there be light." Which means…

— Ricky Gervais

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you…

— Steve Martin

Both Ulysses and Finnegans Wake are inexhaustible. They are celebrations of the ordinary, compelling reactions to philosophical elitism about "the good life".…

— Philip Kitcher

“You'd be surprised." Charlie said. "You go to bed one night singing her a lullaby, and she wakes up listening to Limp…

— Jodi Picoult

“This isn’t fucking funny.” He’s glaring at me now, and my face sobers. “Trust me, I know.” I swallow. “You’re very sweary.”…

— Kristen Proby

“Don't be so sure,' Cassie said. 'We're fighting for Mother Earth. She has some tricks up her sleeves.' 'Good grief,' Marco said.…

— Katherine Applegate

“If you let your heart rule you, you’ll have a good ruler by which to measure things. This can be called wisdom.”

— Art Hochberg

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

— George Carlin

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.

— Dylan Moran

I could say I don't like dating, but its more like, I backed over this glass slipper with my car and somebody…

— Rock Cowles

Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!

— Dylan Moran

I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count…

— Frankie Boyle

The next best thing to being witty one's self, is to be able to be able to quote another's wit.

— Christian Nestell Bovee

My father was a very funny man, and one of my strongest recollections is hearing him laugh. He didn't like people who…

— Mike Myers

Comedy is a shared experience, and I think it's great to open that to a wide demographic.

— Dave Coulier

I love hanging around folks that love to crack jokes and pay their bills lol, and must love Baskin Robbins lol ctfu

— Joe Collins Jr

That's the great thing about a sense of humor and a sex drive, you can't wait to share it with everybody else.

— Dolly Parton

For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest).

— Dave Barry

There are some men who are witty when they are in a bad humor, and others only when they are sad.

— Joseph Joubert

I haven't done much comedy; I would love to. I love doing dramatic roles, but I'd love to do comedy. I think…

— Richard Harmon

I went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky.

— Mike Birbiglia

“I pointed at Wireman's forehead. "This is your brain," I said. Then I pointed at my easel. "This is your brain on…

— Stephen King

“Thank God (my wife) and I were both born poor so the concept of fidelity was allowed to take root in us.”

— Allan Wolf

“As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.”

— Andy Weir

“...food was at least three million per cent more delicious when you ate it immediately after thinking you were going to die.”

— Joshua Donellan

All humour is critical, you know? You make stupid jokes. I mean, stupidity is an infirmity, isn't it?

— John Cleese

They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!

— George Carlin

Actors are a great subject for a comedy. They're inherently funny because, like sportsmen, they take themselves so seriously.

— Matt Berry

“If Jeff wished to pursue the matter he'd have to leave his beer, and I felt intuitively that he would never do…

— Kevin Hearne

It's so much fun to be around someone who enjoys life...someone who can find humor in almost any situation and who brings…

— Nishan Panwar