“Don't Set Success as Your Goal. Set Goals which lead you to Success” — Laksh Kishore Copy Share Image
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“His brother fell silent again, another oddity for Chad. Several seconds passed. “Bro, all of us are a little fucked up.” “No… — J. Lynn Copy Share Image
I warn people, your 40s will require massive amounts of humor and humility. — Henry Rollins Copy Share Image
Women and Washing Machines are similar in a way, you have to use your hands in their absence. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“What happens when you pray for an angel and get a vampire instead? R E Mullins” — R E Mullins Copy Share Image
“People who come first in class never get good marks in the report card of Life. After all who asks you your… — Laksh Kishore Copy Share Image
Is this chicken what I have or is this fish? I know it's tuna. But it says chicken. By the sea. — Jessica Simpson Copy Share Image
A great deal of my comedy comes from the trials and tribulations of growing up a big kid in the Boston area. — John Pinette Copy Share Image
“Q: You'er presented with a smooth-faced, eight-foot-high wooden wall. Your objective? Get over it. To, like, save comrades or something. How to… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
Humor can help you to disagree without being disagreeable. The key in democracy is not necessarily that we agree, but that we… — Gerald R. Ford Copy Share Image
“ Alexander Hamilton Junior High School -- SEMESTER REPORT -- STUDENT: Joseph Margolis TEACHER: Janet Hicks ENGLISH: A, ARITHMETIC: A, SOCIAL STUDIES:… — Steve Kluger Copy Share Image
Canada, as you know, is a major important nation boasting a sophisticated, cosmopolitan culture that was tragically destroyed last week by beavers. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Oliver opened the door of the carriage and found his puppets huddled together on the bench. He gestured for them to come… — Zeinab Alayan Copy Share Image
“Briec removed his clothes and slipped into bed with her, wrapping his arms around her waist and snuggling her from behind. “Izzy?”… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“Jody screamed at him: a high, explosive, unintelligible expulsion of pure inhuman frustration--a Hendrix high note sampled and sung by a billion… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“I don't hate you, you're just the most annoying person in my life.” — Rebecca Sparrow Copy Share Image
Destiny is a funny thing cause you'll never known when you are in it. — Simphiwe Scientist Dumi Copy Share Image
