These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled, and the gun she was holding gave me a bad… — Patrick Major Dallas OR Copy Share Image
Burning Ants. As a kid: oh, no! the city of Townsville is on Fire! Now: hey! where are you going!? COME AVENGE… — Nutella Umbrella Copy Share Image
“I think you were going to stop the Black Plague armed with one guard, one mad scientist, a rubber man, and a… — Caspar Vega Copy Share Image
“I really should be studying now, but you're much more important to me than a .50 calibre machine gun.” — Kara Martinelli Copy Share Image
“Do you answer a question directly?" "Hard to say. Ah, there, I've done it again” — Leigh Bardugo Copy Share Image
When times are troubled, SMILE. When disaster threatens, LAUGH. When asked your age, LIE. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“For a second, I wanted very badly to know a spell that would let me melt through the floor in a quivering… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“He sighed and opened the black box and took out his rings and slipped them on. Another box held a set of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Names I am most commonly called by telemarketers: Simone, Slain, Siobhan, Flo, Stacey, Susan, Slater, Leanne, and Slow (Yes, my parents named… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
'Stree' is a horror comedy in which a bridal ghost who is back in town to take revenge from men, she is… — Rajkummar Rao Copy Share Image
“Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)" I thinks she's going to break my heart" On arrival of the girl" The flannel… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
You don't go to a comedy and try to laugh. You laugh in spite of yourself. You don't just come on stage… — Penelope Wilton Copy Share Image
So welcome 'Damsels in Distress,' an exhilarating gift of a comedy about college, the female intellect, the limitless male ego, inventing a… — Peter Travers Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry but I don't need saving. Maybe pour all that energy into a worthy cause, like saving the whales, or the… — Jayde Scott Copy Share Image
Comedy, not screaming at someone, can make someone lift their legs higher. There is a way to do a push-up and a… — Richard Simmons Copy Share Image
“Next!” The taller of the guys at the door called. Saved by the yell.” — Magan Vernon Copy Share Image
“When in doubt, write it out. If that doesn't work, you're screwed.” — Moniqua Sexton Copy Share Image
“If you are going to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.” — Winston S. Churchill Copy Share Image
“The more I know, the more I realize that I don't know much at all...” — Hans Christian Hollenbeck Copy Share Image
