“Peace cannot be achieved; they have to be plucked out of their pod.” — A.G. Phillips Copy Share Image
People say everything happens for a reason... well when I punch you in the face remember that happened for a reason! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People often think that you have a sense of humor because you think that life is funny. Life isn't funny at all.… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
“Don’t mock my suggestions, Ridley – one day in the near future, they might just save your life.” Maxwell D. Kalist.” — Carla H Krueger Copy Share Image
Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through… — Henry Ward Beecher Copy Share Image
The days of discriminating against religious institutions simply because they are religious must come to an end. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Well, I'd find sleeping with you a pleasant thing, but I'd prefer making love with you a few dozen times first.” — Nora Roberts Copy Share Image
“Karma is quite a resilient fellow. No matter what...he'll come back time after time and bite you right back in your assets!:)… — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity. — Bruce Lee Copy Share Image
“I should think he must be rather a dressy man for his time of life. Such a number of looking-glasses! Oh Lord!… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
He who drinks a tumbler of London water has literally in his stomach more animated beings than there are men, women, and… — Sydney Smith Copy Share Image
“It was funny how none of her classes in library science had prepared her for this sort of thing, dead bodies, staff… — Jen McKinlay Copy Share Image
“If asked for an opinion we’ll say what we think. And by “what we think” I mean the answer that comes to… — Aaron Blaylock Copy Share Image
“Helen felt as if the whole world had turned into some gigantic punch line that she had waited patiently for, and then… — Josephine Angelini Copy Share Image
“Isn't that thing a little unsanitary for the workplace?" I pointed to his lip ring. "I assure you that my lip ring… — Magan Vernon Copy Share Image
I was always the guy who made jokes and ribbed people at parties. After I went to the American Academy of Dramatic… — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“A census taker once tried to test me. I let my front garden eat him.” — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
Trouble knocked on the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
“The best thing about a book is that you don't have to plug it in.” — Joseph Voelbel Copy Share Image
Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches. — Tallulah Bankhead Copy Share Image
“The pursuit of historical relevance is an under appreciated endeavor.” — Michael Dwinnell Copy Share Image
