Humor Quotes · Page 250

“Comedy, of course, lives for serious moments.”

— Glen Duncan

I've heard the call. I believe God wants me to run for president.

— George W. Bush

When the joke is on you, your sense of humour gets a reality check.

— Nikhil Saluja

“What is [insert name here]? Does it taste good?”

— Ken Akamatsu

“At last a lifetime ambition of mine to become a pimp was satisfied.”

— Jack Woodford

I find comedy fun, and I really enjoy doing music.

— Matt Berry

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

— Chris Rock

I enjoy comedy but it can become wearisome.

— Steve Coogan

Sarina can be serious at times, but she's also funny. She makes us laugh a lot on the training ground with her…

— Alex Greenwood

I have always employed humor, and I think it's absolutely crucial that we do because, among other things, humor is the only…

— Gloria Steinem

In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.

— Greg Proops

I want to do different projects and be versatile. I don't want to get fixed into narrative comedy.

— Jason Gann

If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.

— Matt Groening

Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.

— Henny Youngman

As comedy presents the vital rhythm of self-preservation, tragedy exhibits that of self-consummation.

— Susanne Katherina Langer

What restrains us from killing is partly fear of punishment, partly moral scruple, and partly what may be described as a sense…

— Anonymous

“The Tragallion pack wasn't exactly welcoming them with open arms ... All in all they were an angry, weary-looking group. Jace tucked…

— Sarah McCarty

“You want to know a secret?" "Always." "My real name is Dave." "I see." "This doesn't seem to amuse you." "I met…

— Kate Griffin

“That was the best Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson we've ever had, wasn't it?" said Ron... "He seems like a very…

— J.K. Rowling

“Alessa looked at Brennus giving him a smirk. “Brennus.” “Alessa.” “Still think that you are the God’s gift to all faeries?” “Still…

— B.C. Morin

I do not believe the homosexual community deserves minority status. One's misbehavior does not qualify him or her for minority status. Blacks,…

— Jerry Falwell

“I should need to be a herd of elephants, I thought, and a wilderness of spiders, desperately referring to the animals that…

— Virginia Woolf

I've never sat down with the intent of trying to shock or anything like that; it just so happens that the sense…

— Jim Jefferies

“In my country, terawatt globes are reserved for police helicopter chases and warning sailors of hazardous shoals. This is despite the fact…

— David Thorne

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

— David Sedaris

“Too bad. Game over. Insert new fucking quarter.”

— Nenia Campbell

I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.

— Steven Wright

A paradox is a storm that rains on itself

— Shannon L. Alder

How to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

— Marian Keyes

“I called this island Bad Humored Island, as we were in a bad humor.”

— John Bakeless

Wisdom lies in taking everything with good humor and a grain of salt.

— George Santayana

Humor is a great way to relieve stress.

— Christina Maslach

“People with senses of humor always have perspective.”

— Vincent H. O'Neil

I know the musical world as well as I know the comedy world.

— Tommy Chong

“The fact that he still breathes offends me.”

— G.A. Aiken

Hey baby, feel my sweater. You feel that? That's boyfriend material.

— Raghib Clitso

“Tim, shut it. I'm not going to sell out the hootchie to save the fae.”

— Elle Casey

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

— Eddie Izzard

I can say that. I have a television show.

— Daniel Tosh

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing.

— Anonymous