“Lieutenant Tindall told me I'd find you up here tilting at putrid windmills. Now I know what he meant.” — Steve Hockensmith Copy Share Image
I think Trump is terrible for comedy. A lot of people say he is great. He's not. You can't joke a joke. — Michelle Wolf Copy Share Image
Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
No one should be posing for duck-lipped selfies with the plaque of the dead. That wouldn't be right. — Mira Grant Copy Share Image
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.” — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The humorous look of children is perhaps the most endearing of all the bonds that hold the Cosmos together. — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
I suddenly realized that comedy, for me, was just being honest, and playing it for real. I've seen so many wonderful actors… — Bea Arthur Copy Share Image
“Help me out,” I pleaded. “You’ve left me alone to deal with this situation, and now we’re being dealt the consequences.” I… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
My sons the same, hes terribly funny. Its a wonderful power to have. Its also fantastically disarming. Women find it unbelievably disarming.… — Robbie Coltraine Copy Share Image
“Life sometimes reminds us that it is sometimes heartless by giving something or someone we really need to someone who does not… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Degrading laughter is a trash compactor and I will not jump in. It’s a self esteem detractor that some call a chiropractor… — Calvin W. Allison Copy Share Image
I'd been doing some light-beer commercials for Budweiser and Coors, and I was doing stand-up comedy. I wanted to get into the… — Kevin Nealon Copy Share Image
The world really changed after 9/11, not just in the tragic way, but in every way. So it took me a couple… — Albert Brooks Copy Share Image
He's a jokester, and that's funny, very funny. Ha-ha. Very funny. — Shaquille O'Neal Copy Share Image
