One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery. — Robert Benchley Copy Share Image
We find ourselves less witty in remembering what we have said than in dreaming of what we would have said. — Jean Antoine Petit-Senn Copy Share Image
Every dude in here has had a fantasy about Jessica Simpson. Here's mine: Jessica, hold your sister Ashlee so I can kick… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Mel Brooks is one of the few authentic geniuses working in comedy in America today. — Gene Wilder Copy Share Image
“Clarification is not to clarify things. It is to put one’s self in the clear (Sir Humphrey Appleby)” — Jonathan Lynn & Anthony Jay Copy Share Image
“Dying is easy, getting the dental floss off your finger and into the trash is hard.” — Gregor Collins Copy Share Image
“Promise me...that you'll...*cough*...you'll dispose of my body in the waste receptacles...conveniently located by the theater exits...” — Rich Burlew Copy Share Image
I think the Irish humour is unique, there are lots of aspects to it. The Irish are quick witted, and their banter… — Dylan Llewellyn Copy Share Image
The secret of substitute teaching is to appear to have known all your life what you learned this afternoon. . . — Rick Sutter Copy Share Image
“Baravetto was unconscious when we found him," Hi said. "What'd you do to the guy?" "Kicked him in the balls, then brained… — Kathy Reichs Copy Share Image
“We have built cities that scrape the sky, machines that think and a global network that allows people to yell at each… — Natalie Kyriacou Copy Share Image
“He could totally be your boyfriend," [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. "You guys could get married. I could be like a… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
“I've only been to SNL three times, and one time I was there, Chevy and Billy were having a huge screaming fight… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
My brother was a great audience, and if he liked the picture, he would laugh and laugh and laugh, and he would… — Lynn Johnston Copy Share Image
“He opened the first letter, No "Dear Mr. Woods." It was a page full of profanities. There was something oddly refreshing about… — Randy Alcorn Copy Share Image
“Of all records, Chase, Some Girls! It was in a clutch of the most horrendous crap, J. Geils Band, Sniff 'n' the… — Jonathan Lethem Copy Share Image
Japan is the perfect example of make plans, and watch God laugh. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
![“He could totally be your boyfriend," [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. "You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog." "I'm only a kid!" I shrieked. "I can't get married!" "You could in New Hampshire." My mouth dropped open. How does she…” quote by James Patterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b42/james-patterson-171_angel_he-could-totally-be-your-boyfriend-angel_2053622.jpg)
