Humor Quotes · Page 172

“If you're stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse”

— Josh Stern

“What doesn't kill you will eventually turn you on”

— Erika Lopez

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

— Kristen Schaal

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor.

— Rainn Wilson

“And vampires never sparkle unless they just ate a stripper.”

— James R. Tuck

“You can't just go and smash whatever you deem fit!”

— Valérie Gent

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything.

— Radhika Apte

Whenever you find humor, you find pathos close by his side.

— Edwin P Whipple

“I suggest it’s time we head off to see the Wizard. The wonderful Wizard of Jesus We Are All So Fucked.”

— Mira Grant

WHEN YOU GOING THROUGH SOMETHING YOU CANT SEE HOW FUNNY ITS GONNA BE LATER SO LAUGH NOW!!

— LEONARD PAUL ROSE

“As a wise Pug once said, all you need is love, kibble and a de-worming tablet every three to six months.”

— Gemma Correll

Laugh at your worries and insecurities. View your anxieties with humor. It will be difficult at first, but you'll gradually get used…

— Paulo Coelho

Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I…

— Louis C. K

“In spite of all the red flags and signs that Marc had more baggage than Imelda Marcos taking shoes on vacation, I…

— Cierra Rantoul

Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.

— Hussein Nishah

I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that.

— Craig Ferguson

“If those birds hadn't been so stupid, so incapable of learning that human beings were dangerous, the first settlers would almost certainly…

— Kurt Vonnegut

I've inherited a Jewish sensibility and sense of humor from my parents and all those who came before me. All the Jewish…

— Philip Rosenthal

“I was tanned, happy, and blowing a kiss to Cary, who’d playacted the role of a highfashion photographer by calling out ridiculous…

— Sylvia Day

There's good action stars. I'm a bad-guy action star. What disappoints me is when you all of a sudden you get a…

— Vinnie Jones

“I must do whatever I can to find the best partners possible." "Did you kick their butts?" He frowned. "The buttocks are…

— Allison van Diepen

You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a…

— Janet Evanovich

“For me hotness was a complicated matter involving brains, humor, and some other things, but all that aside, I was willing to…

— Ilona Andrews

“About the time he threatened her nose with his finger, Peaseblossom lost her grip on the situation with the boys. The door…

— Lisa Mantchev

“You bastard, stop that whistling and fight me like a man!”

— John Zakour

“What would have been the fate of sages if there were no fools?”

— Ogwo David Emenike

You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.

— Ellen DeGeneres

I mean, I feel like everything I say is funny.

— Janelle James

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

— Rodney Dangerfield

Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.

— Joan Rivers

Hysterical in The Mask; funny yet moving in The Truman Show.

— Jim Carrey

“If life is what you make it then make mine like my eggs, over easy.”

— Matthew Benoit

Not everybody agrees on what's funny, obviously.

— Tim Meadows

“If your life was complete, you'd be dead.”

— Joshua Wisenbaker

I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny.

— Gilbert Gottfried

“No one is more interested in what you have to say than you are.”

— unknowen

“Everybody needs a career manager."- Lady Macbeth”

— Robert Lynn Asprin

I've had the fame and the joy of getting laughter - those are gifts.

— Mary Tyler Moore

Directors were apprehensive in trying comedy with me.

— Kunal Khemu

I love period dramas and language, but I love comedy as well.

— Robin McLeavy