Humor Quotes · Page 169

We're living on the Planet of the Apes. Is that funny or serious?

— Robert Anton Wilson

Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

— Groucho Marx

Laughter is pleasant, but the exertion at my age is too much for me.

— Thomas Love Peacock

Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison.

— Anonymous

“Damn, this op has been like a fucking Love Boat episode.”

— Suzanne Brockmann

“It's a certainty, but it just might work.”

— Terry Pratchett

“Maybe I could be a ninja assassin too, Jack thought.”

— Jane Seville

“I'd be a dumbass if I didn't plan for every contingency.”

— Maya Banks

“Got any mood music?” “If you press Play on the stereo you’re going to hear Miley Cyrus.” “I don’t know who that…

— Tere Michaels

My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.

— Tim Conway

I'd rather try and cram in another two gags than leave a pause to say, 'Hey, wasn't that bit funny?'

— Edgar Wright

Drama and comedy, to me ,are all about being surprising, coherent, and true, all at once.

— Tim Blake Nelson

A push up bra is like a bag of chips; you open the bag and it's half empty.

— Anonymous

Just because I do a few comedy bits about gay people, that does not mean I'm out there promoting some anti-gay cause.

— Sam Kinison

I wrote three years for Lucille Ball. She taught me everything I know about physical comedy...

— Garry Marshall

“Say what you want about organized religion, but man, they make cool windows.”

— Alan Doyle

I think that comedy really tells you how it is. The other thing about comedy is that - you don't even know…

— Carl Reiner

One reason I like to highlight reading is, reading is the beginnings of the ability to be a good student. And if…

— George W. Bush

“Choose the Happy Side of Life. Seek ways to bring humor, laughter, and joy to work. It will not only make work…

— Susan C. Young

“Yeah, go ahead and get the forbidden garden comment out of your system. And no matter what witty snake joke you're considering?…

— Leah Clifford

As fate is inexorable, and not to be moved either with tears or reproaches, an excess of sorrow is as foolish as…

— Seneca the Younger

Oh, man. He knows not what he does to my comedy bones. This is the one where it's all one side of…

— Andy Samberg

Darjeeling Limited is a comedy but there is substance, there is feeling and an opportunity for three brothers to reconnect and contemplate…

— Adrien Brody

“Jacob offered Ann pot, this time from a bowl. She shook her head no. “You gotta keep doing it and eventually it…

— Sage Steadman

If you can spell 'Nietzsche' without Google, you deserve a cookie.

— Lauren Leto

Humor can be one of our best survival tools.

— Allen Klein

Don't come on to be funny - come on to solve problems.

— Keith Johnstone

My theory is that comedy comes from little people.

— Scott Thompson

“. . . mixing defensiveness with anger - a wonderful mix, by the way.”

— Liza Palmer

I love the idea of comedy in horror. I think this should be allowed.

— Robert Englund

“Whoever made Freud a vampire is getting a stake in the heart.”

— Missouri Dalton

We are specially designed to appeal to the sense of humour.

— Oscar Wilde

I find it cruel that the word lisp has an s in it.

— Nikhil Saluja

There is an intimate laughter to be found only among friends

— Maya Angelou

Well I was much too practical to presume to have a career in comedy.

— Bob Newhart

The righteous one has no sense of humor.

— Bertolt Brecht

“I have followed my penis into hell and returned with the story.”

— Christopher Moore

“Just because he's a spider doesn't mean he deserves any less concern!”

— Rachel Caine

“Don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't cash, son.”

— Charles Portis

I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?

— Henny Youngman